Coaching to Success

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Habits

In these times of uncertainty, let confidence be your guide.

Confidence can be portrayed in many ways but not all are necessarily depicting how the person really feels.Most people that know me assume I’m confident in every aspect that they see me in, but this is not always the case. The first few workshops or presentations were not always done with the confidence that others saw or that are run with now.

Let us look at areas, such as this, that show the triggers switches we need to help develop that level of confidence we wish to achieve.

  1. Right over Wrong: Confident people will take a stance on what they believe is correct, however, unlike cocky individuals, they will also listen to others points of views/ideas. It is not a case of simply agreeing to another’s viewpoint but when evidence to the contrary is put forward, they will concede graciously. Others will categorially disregard opinions for fear of losing face.
  2. Two ears, One mouth: Confident people know what they know and do not feel compelled to announce to all and sundry. In coaching, we use the term 2 ears and 1 mouth to initiate others to talk at least twice as much as we do. This way, you learn more without feeling compelled to brag and looking for a blanket of security. Knowledge comes from speaking to those who have the answers without preconception that you know best already!
  3. Help!: Throughout my career, it has been believed that asking for help is a sign of weakness but this could not be further from the truth. Confident people are secure in their own knowledge and unafraid to ask for help when it comes to areas they feel weak in. This request for help quantifies you are not afraid to show you need assistance and you respect them for the knowledge and expertise you seek to acquire.
  4. Oops! That’s mine: “honest Gov, it was their fault!” owning the mistake actually lifts levels of sincerity and honesty in the eyes of others. As well as the confession, confident people will use their errors as a beacon for others to avoid and if the jokes on them, then they will smile and joke along with the rest.
  5. Seeking approval: How many contacts do you have on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, LinkedIn or any other Social Media channel? The more the better, yes? Nah! Quality over quantity is always the winner and earning that respect or trust from a few important people is always better than seeking approval from thousands of people you don’t know. Confidence is about standing out from the crowd and not bowing to peer pressure.

Confidence is about self-worth and belief. We are inundated with adverts on how we should look, what perfumes/cologne or clothing brands we should buy to make us appear more attractive. In reality, confidence comes from respect and trust of others in you and, more importantly, a self-belief in yourself and your abilities.

Remember, never assume that what you know or do at work is less than another. Believe it or not, there are others who look in awe at what you do!

This is but a beginning, the start of building your levels of confidence but should you be looking for help in developing confidence through these and other tools, contact Neil for an informal chat to see how we can help you on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help.

You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPc.

 

 

Managing frustrations at work…

Whether it be budget cuts, additional workload, staff cuts or a myriad of other concerns we are subjected to at work, emotions can be stretched and even the most placid of people can lose the plot occasionally.

Unlike positive emotions that throw out the feel good endorphins, frustration hits the core and can bring us down if we do not manage it. There are methods to help you relax, like with the ace cbd oil which is focus on natural compounds, it impacts the body positively to the mind and not only physical pain, it promotes relaxation and takes away the anxiety.

Coaching always looks for the positive in any situation and helps clients find them. That said, here we look to some of the techniques to help turn those negativities 180 degrees and find a more productive way forward of thinking.

To begin, what are the main negative emotions that hit us?

  • Anger
  • Frustration
  • Worry

ANGER is one of the most destructive of our negative emotions and ultimate takes our own self-control away. In work, this can make you appear most unprofessional and does not put us in the best light especially if redundancies or promotion raises its head.

  • When it begins to rise – Cease what you are doing and breathe. Yes, it’s as simple as that. In my martial arts and yoga, it’s a great de-stressing tool as you breathe in for 4-5 seconds and out to the same count. Concentrate on this to over-ride the negative emotion.
  • Know the signs – we are aware of our own trigger signs that cause us to be angry. Understand them, recognise them and then know when they appear. From here, you then have a choice on whether you control it or let it take control.
  • View from the outside – an NLP trick is to transport yourself out of your own body and look at your behaviour from an external point of view which gives you a better perspective. Next time the anger starts to rise, step back and imagine how you will inevitably behave as if watching yourself from a short distance away. Change this picture by taking control.

FRUSTRATION occurs all too often when we feel trapped or blocked from moving forward. Before allowing the negative impact to hit you, consider the following:

  • Look back – Reflect back on another time where you felt frustrated and consider how it was resolved. Frequently they never end up as bad as anticipated so take that on board in the next situation.
  • Stop and assess – Usually we plough straight into a situation and reap the negative fallout. Before you do this, use the previous NLP technique and mentally step away. Then seek the positive elements of the given situation, look hard as there will be some.

WORRY can hit us from many directions. Whether it be staff reductions or loss of a contract, worry affects our mental wellbeing. It can stop us from taking those risks we would normally take and certainly impact our productivity levels. That’s the visual aspects and doesn’t even start to look at how mentally it affects us with stress.

  • Focus on improvement – whatever the worst situation befalls you, the sad news is it will happen regardless so no good will come from dwelling on it. Nearly 10yr ago I got cancer. It was bad and nearly beat me but here I am more motivated and positive and refuse to let it worry me that it may (or may not) return, if it does, then so be it. Rather than concentrating on the negative, look at how you can improve your situation even if it does mean taking risks.
  • Schedule your worries to another time – Seema a weird thing to say but in time-management, we learn to schedule tasks in so why not look at whatever ails you and book a future time to deal with it. Although it won’t go away, it means you don’t have to worry about it now as you give yourself permission to deal with it later.
  • Remove yourself from the fallout – By this I mean if there is bad news circulating around the office, avoid the gossipmongers as all they will do is fuel the fire of despair. Seek those who are more positive even in a crisis and feed off the positive vibes

Whichever way you look at it, it is a mindset and one that is difficult to change if you are already in the middle of a situation. Nonetheless, it is not unsurmountable and taking small steps can help you move in a more positive frame of mind.

Others may influence you but ultimately the choice, yes there is a choice, is yours to make and own. The difficulty is having the ability to see it or finding the support to see you through it.

At Coaching to Success, we offer individuals who are struggling to find the positive path and businesses dealing with bad news to help overcome the negative and move towards the positive light.

If this is something that you would like to discuss further, please contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPc

Let’s be clear about how to communicate…

Clear communication can be the bane of working days if not carried out correctly. In this day and age we have so many means to communicate but all too often we find haste makes waste. So as to avoid making fundamental mistakes in getting your message across, consider the following tips to help you get the most out of your communications…

In times gone by, a letter dropping on our doormat used to be received with emotional attachment. It may be good news or bad but either way, someone had spent time to write to you. It would be read front to back and maybe re-read with the inevitable answer being drafted and posted.

Today’s supersonic highway of communication means we can send a message to Australia and the receiver will have it within milliseconds. Speed now takes over from accuracy or content and the content is what makes the message clear.

Do you find yourself receiving information or talking to people finding that it is unclear what they are trying to communicate? And what of yourself, are you finding the speed of life means your message is sometimes rushed. This being followed by elements of frustration as the recipient does not appear to grasp what you wish to relay.

It may not always be that they do not comprehend what is being said. It may simply be that we are not explaining ourselves clearly. With that in mind, here are our tips towards formulating your message(s):

Communicate clearly:

  • Make it clear, well-structured, polite and easy to understand (use straightforward terminology)
  • Two ears and one mouth, use in that order! Listen to what is being said and paraphrase your understanding
  • Utilise all channels insuring the message has been distributed accordingly (Verbal, Email, Message, Telephone, Presentation, Meetings)

Timely and Accurate:

  • Remove any ambiguity, accuracy is paramount
  • Emphasise levels of importance or urgency. Remove any doubt or misunderstanding
  • Keep concise but containing the correct level of detail
  • Consider the most effective time to deliver the communication
  • Assess when best to repeat/update

Approachability:

  • Openly share information
  • Be open to questions, ideas and approach
  • Allow others to express their views and show a genuine interest
  • Change manner and terminology of delivery if recipient doesn’t initially grasp it (speaking slower or louder doesn’t work – it is often the delivery that doesn’t resonate rather than information not being understood)

Negativity:

  • Refrain from use of inappropriate language, beratement or tone
  • Use positive affirmations over negative ones
  • Actively listen to what others have to say without dismissing before they begin
  • Do not portray yourself as too busy or unapproachable
  • Desist from over embellishing or dramatizing negative facts
  • Avoid giving bad news inappropriately (e.g. using email, social media or text to give negative feedback to an individual)

The key is to keep your message clear, simple, informative, timely and without any prejudice.

Having no clear guidance, people read into what is in front of them in their own way. It depends on their mood, what mind set they are in. Without clarity, ambiguity takes control and that can lead people down a dark path that may not have even been considered.

We help organisations and individuals such as yourself to insure the message being delivered remains focused with a positive outcome. Start the first step by contacting Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

 Let’s take elevator speeches up a few levels!

It’s suggested that the origins of the elevator speech came from Hollywood when people would bombard producers with scripts but needed to convince them to not only read them but to set up a meeting. It is also reported as an urban myth but, nonetheless, the sentiment is valid.

Having only seconds to ‘reel’ them in (OK, bad filming pun) the message had to be concise but also exciting to draw the producer’s attention.

To this day, nothing has changed but with the increased pressure of all the social media channels, TV, visual and audio that we are continually subjected to, the barriers against success keep rising.

Here are my tips on how to create a powerful pitch that cuts through the waffle and points you in the right direction of grabbing your particular Target’s attention.

What’s the objective? First and foremost, know what you are looking to achieve. Is it to inform, ie about your organisation’s technical prowess, a new product you have developed, to set up a meeting?

What’s your solution? Inform them what it is that you do. Portray it as a solution and not simply a fact. Eg “I’m a business coach and help companies to move forward” is weak and too generalised. “I’m a gap analysis – by discovering where you are and where you want to be. We analyse and close the gaps through coaching” helps the person relate to how I may be able to help them. What problems does the person you are with have? How will your business/service address this?

What’s your USP? For those who have heard of this but unsure what it is, USP = Unique Selling Proposition. A great example: “M&Ms. The milk chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand” states a USP and is also memorable. Either yours or your businesses’ USP should make you stand out from your rivals focusing your target’s attention without being too ‘technical’. Show benefit and be memorable.

Ask, don’t tell! All too often we are so excited about our service that we absorb in ‘tell’ and forget to ‘ask’. So engage with open ended questions starting with the W’s (What.. Where.. Why..) and throw in some How’s for good measure. Eg. “How does your organisation handle the continued development of the existing workforce?” which in turn reflects on your specialist area, coaching and training as in my case here.

If you do ask a closed question, know you do it with a follow up ‘open’ question. Eg. To continue my above example, “Unlike others who simply level out, does your organisation look for staff to continually develop?”. In this case, the question is somewhat loaded but you’re looking for the right answer to then ask the open question straight away.

Wrap it up. Prepare your presentation chronologically, as with the above, and should ideally be between 30-60 secs long maximum. Any more and it then comes across as a pitch, any less and their interest will not be captured. It has to be compelling yet swift.

The three R’s. Quite simply, rehearse, Rehearse and REHEARSE. If you have more than one elevator speech, and we highly recommended this as you never who you may encounter, insure you rehearse these too.

This is not necessarily the easiest thing to get right but with more practice, it becomes easier and Coaching to Success are here to help you achieve the desired results and the motivation to see it through.

For further information, call the elevator to our floor, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

I’m too busy to procrastinate!

Abraham Lincoln once quoted “You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.” Easy words to read but often hard to action

Speaking to a colleague only today about how I have certain tasks I need to accomplish but that even I was allowing procrastination to sidle in next to me and lure me away from starting.

Knowing that the task was going to be quite time-consuming yet also aware that it could be broken into parts, I still avoided that initial step thinking other jobs took priority (including a quick game of PC Solitaire!).

I recognised the signs, even so, still managed to avoid starting. Fortunately for me, having this other person to make me accountable gave me the required kick-start.

If like me, you have been putting things off or simply wish to create then stick to a new objective, here are my tips to help you get to grips and move positively forward:

Why can’t I start this? – Find the core reason that is holding you back. What problems, perceived or otherwise, are there that hinder you from getting on with it? Look at the situation, yourself, the task/project/objective and ask yourself why you keep procrastination. Dig deep and answer honestly.

“Begin with the End in Mind” (Dr. Stephen R. Covey) – Start the day as you mean to carry on. There are some great Time-Management tools that can be found on our web site that help here. Consider planning your day’s activities in advance and if you have to have a Social Media fix, gaming set a time to do this rather than having it/them keep pinging on your device as a distraction.

Play indoor football! – Not literally but consider the ‘Goal’. Indoor has ‘Mini-Goals’ so set attainable targets that you can reach within the allotted time.

If the overall task is large, as is the one I mentioned previously for me, look to break it down into smaller parts and set time-lines to complete each. Procrastination feeds off boredom if a reachable end is out of sight.

Self-appreciation – With each completed task or segment of a larger goal, reward yourself accordingly as recognition for what you achieved. Lack of appreciation is often a main cause for procrastination so refrain from relying on others to offer it. Know that you have accomplished your set objective and reward yourself with something that’s relative to the task. One client rewarded himself with an iPad once he hit a set target but that was relevant to the order he achieved. I reward myself with a decent cup of coffee LoL when finishing features such as this. Make the reward relevant but also meaningful.

Break the Habit – As with many other factors creating who we are, procrastination may well have now become a habit for you. Reminding yourself of the consequences that are attached to it may well be the first step to take. We all know the motivational use of carrot and stick scenario and although not PC as a tool to use, the principle is a good way of looking at what drives you. Are you tempted more by reward or reprimand? Look at the consequences of failing to reach your objective then assess what you need to do to give you the motivation to reach your goal and then you can get a free time and do you pc games and your favorite online games like Counter and LoL.

Matchup what separates a strong champion select You’ll never struggle on counter edition effectively win your opponents in scrimmages and gain access to blind pick series featuring all roles like top against your chances of health which can result in one box This gives you would destroy him in League of legends Once you queue up where both laners are equally trading and roam the entire game and late game because of views The Ultimate Cassiopeia Counters Edition,Get the millions of bonus content such as patch release If you’ve followed us on Youtube then you That’s not going to help you know it will give you an immense amount of legends Once you queue up versus any patch release If you’ve followed us on counter can enable you need to You can enable you with a late game you found the best champion picks either.

Also, let others know so you can hold yourself accountable to someone else!

Coaching to success work towards breaking down barriers, assessing what’s ahead and planning to succeed in whatever goal their clients wish to attain. To improve your own levels of procrastination or focus, take the first step by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco then contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk  where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help.