Coaching to Success

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Stop texting and let’s start talking…

Albert Mehrabian, professor at the University of California reported that to be truly congruent in the art of conversing, 55% comes from gesticulation/body language, 38% tonality but only 7% from the words.

Yet, how do we spend most of our time communicating? Emails, messages and text, we are losing the art of conversing!

What stops us from going up and simply talking to someone? Sometimes it is fear of saying the wrong thing, being rejected or ignored. Often, within reason, it is not so much what you say as how you come across.

Confidence is a massive factor and this is portrayed in the way we hold ourselves (55%), the manner in which we speak (38%) and finally the words we use (7%). Think of how you engage with friends or family when you are relaxed and how you laugh and relate with them.

Starting a conversation can feel quite daunting if your usual approach is to wait for someone else to instigate it. Confidence is the key and those who know me will recognise the fact that I have no problem with events, such as weddings or business networks, going up to a complete stranger to engage in a chat.

Consider the following:

  • Question don’t announce – Begin the conversation by using ‘open’ questions. “Hi, you know James then do you” will generally result in Yes/No reply whereas, “Hi, nice to meet you, so how do you know James?” will open the conversation. Closed questions start with anything that will result in a singular worded answer. Open questions normally start with what, how, why that requires expansion in their reply.
  • Humour works – Relaxed introduction of funny quips works well. We all like to laugh (mind you, if that person over there doesn’t, best avoid them!). Let things flow from the conversation and add anecdotes appropriately rather than memorising gags such as Tim Vine “I’ve decided to sell my Hoover – it was just collecting dust”, (I do like that though!)
  • Show Interest – First and foremost, people like talking about their situation so be personable. Show interest in them and base your questions around things they will know, eg. Ask how they know James. Remember, this is not an interrogation so avoid drilling them with questions, ergo, a conversation sets sail.
  • Mutuality – The conversation is neither all about them nor you. You will never be able to rehearse the perfect conversation as it is a two way situation. Approach with the ‘we’ as opposed to ‘I’ scenario when it comes to what the subject matter may be and wonder what they will talk about. This change in mindset makes conversations much easier as transferable onus is on them momentarily until the banter starts.
  • Power of smiling – This may not help the crows-feet but I’d rather walk around with a smile on my face than not. Therefore, refrain from looking in horror at the person or group as if they are the main character in Jaw’s but remember this is a social interaction. You radiate warmth with a smile so let it hover naturally and when the other party talks, let your eyes and mouth smile, embrace them.
  • Taking it personally – Remember, others may be in a similar situation with confidence issues. They may have an agenda that does not include talking to you. Whatsoever the case, let it be their problem and not yours! Take on board all the ideas here and whatever the outcome, do not take it personally.
  • Less is more – Have you experienced someone giving you too many details, like how their car broke down from pick up through to technical fault. Did you feel obliged to listen? Had they simply stated they put the wrong fuel in and what a headache it caused them, we would be more interested. Brevity is the key. Keep your points succinct and refrain from including all the details, just those that are relevant to the tale.

We hide behind electronic devices and all too often I see people standing uncomfortably corners of the room, so much so, I feel architects will soon be designing dodecagon rooms so more can find a corner!

Practise makes perfect and the more you stretch yourself, the easier it becomes to recognising signs that people are open to engage in conversation.

Coaching to success use tools to explore peoples’ preferred styles such as MBTI, John Heron and Belbin then methods to help with confidence so should you or someone you know want to benefit with a direct approach, see how relaxed I am in conversation by  watching our video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco then contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help.

Let’s be clear about how to communicate…

Clear communication can be the bane of working days if not carried out correctly. In this day and age we have so many means to communicate but all too often we find haste makes waste. So as to avoid making fundamental mistakes in getting your message across, consider the following tips to help you get the most out of your communications…

In times gone by, a letter dropping on our doormat used to be received with emotional attachment. It may be good news or bad but either way, someone had spent time to write to you. It would be read front to back and maybe re-read with the inevitable answer being drafted and posted.

Today’s supersonic highway of communication means we can send a message to Australia and the receiver will have it within milliseconds. Speed now takes over from accuracy or content and the content is what makes the message clear.

Do you find yourself receiving information or talking to people finding that it is unclear what they are trying to communicate? And what of yourself, are you finding the speed of life means your message is sometimes rushed. This being followed by elements of frustration as the recipient does not appear to grasp what you wish to relay.

It may not always be that they do not comprehend what is being said. It may simply be that we are not explaining ourselves clearly. With that in mind, here are our tips towards formulating your message(s):

Communicate clearly:

  • Make it clear, well-structured, polite and easy to understand (use straightforward terminology)
  • Two ears and one mouth, use in that order! Listen to what is being said and paraphrase your understanding
  • Utilise all channels insuring the message has been distributed accordingly (Verbal, Email, Message, Telephone, Presentation, Meetings)

Timely and Accurate:

  • Remove any ambiguity, accuracy is paramount
  • Emphasise levels of importance or urgency. Remove any doubt or misunderstanding
  • Keep concise but containing the correct level of detail
  • Consider the most effective time to deliver the communication
  • Assess when best to repeat/update

Approachability:

  • Openly share information
  • Be open to questions, ideas and approach
  • Allow others to express their views and show a genuine interest
  • Change manner and terminology of delivery if recipient doesn’t initially grasp it (speaking slower or louder doesn’t work – it is often the delivery that doesn’t resonate rather than information not being understood)

Negativity:

  • Refrain from use of inappropriate language, beratement or tone
  • Use positive affirmations over negative ones
  • Actively listen to what others have to say without dismissing before they begin
  • Do not portray yourself as too busy or unapproachable
  • Desist from over embellishing or dramatizing negative facts
  • Avoid giving bad news inappropriately (e.g. using email, social media or text to give negative feedback to an individual)

The key is to keep your message clear, simple, informative, timely and without any prejudice.

Having no clear guidance, people read into what is in front of them in their own way. It depends on their mood, what mind set they are in. Without clarity, ambiguity takes control and that can lead people down a dark path that may not have even been considered.

We help organisations and individuals such as yourself to insure the message being delivered remains focused with a positive outcome. Start the first step by contacting Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

 Let’s take elevator speeches up a few levels!

It’s suggested that the origins of the elevator speech came from Hollywood when people would bombard producers with scripts but needed to convince them to not only read them but to set up a meeting. It is also reported as an urban myth but, nonetheless, the sentiment is valid.

Having only seconds to ‘reel’ them in (OK, bad filming pun) the message had to be concise but also exciting to draw the producer’s attention.

To this day, nothing has changed but with the increased pressure of all the social media channels, TV, visual and audio that we are continually subjected to, the barriers against success keep rising.

Here are my tips on how to create a powerful pitch that cuts through the waffle and points you in the right direction of grabbing your particular Target’s attention.

What’s the objective? First and foremost, know what you are looking to achieve. Is it to inform, ie about your organisation’s technical prowess, a new product you have developed, to set up a meeting?

What’s your solution? Inform them what it is that you do. Portray it as a solution and not simply a fact. Eg “I’m a business coach and help companies to move forward” is weak and too generalised. “I’m a gap analysis – by discovering where you are and where you want to be. We analyse and close the gaps through coaching” helps the person relate to how I may be able to help them. What problems does the person you are with have? How will your business/service address this?

What’s your USP? For those who have heard of this but unsure what it is, USP = Unique Selling Proposition. A great example: “M&Ms. The milk chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand” states a USP and is also memorable. Either yours or your businesses’ USP should make you stand out from your rivals focusing your target’s attention without being too ‘technical’. Show benefit and be memorable.

Ask, don’t tell! All too often we are so excited about our service that we absorb in ‘tell’ and forget to ‘ask’. So engage with open ended questions starting with the W’s (What.. Where.. Why..) and throw in some How’s for good measure. Eg. “How does your organisation handle the continued development of the existing workforce?” which in turn reflects on your specialist area, coaching and training as in my case here.

If you do ask a closed question, know you do it with a follow up ‘open’ question. Eg. To continue my above example, “Unlike others who simply level out, does your organisation look for staff to continually develop?”. In this case, the question is somewhat loaded but you’re looking for the right answer to then ask the open question straight away.

Wrap it up. Prepare your presentation chronologically, as with the above, and should ideally be between 30-60 secs long maximum. Any more and it then comes across as a pitch, any less and their interest will not be captured. It has to be compelling yet swift.

The three R’s. Quite simply, rehearse, Rehearse and REHEARSE. If you have more than one elevator speech, and we highly recommended this as you never who you may encounter, insure you rehearse these too.

This is not necessarily the easiest thing to get right but with more practice, it becomes easier and Coaching to Success are here to help you achieve the desired results and the motivation to see it through.

For further information, call the elevator to our floor, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

Pleased to Present a Perfect Presentation

From Pink Floyd’s song, Learning to Fly, a chorus line has “Tongue tied and twisted…” which got me thinking about how we can become when doing presentations. Especially in front of those we are not familiar with. With that in mind, this week’s feature will help you look at the different aspects of managing the ideal presentation.

Often presentations are in front of decision makers. Whether these be executives that take your information on to the rest of their teams or a buyer that you are looking to convince that your product is better than someone else’s. I have made some horrendous mistakes from juggling change in my trouser pockets (I’ll leave that image to form!) to arriving late and having equipment that didn’t work as expected. Learning from those mistakes led me to offering this feature to help or remind you of those pitfalls we need to overcome to ace your next presentation.

  • Be succinct – In today’s climate, brevity is the ‘key’ and timing the ‘oil’ to make things run smooth. Refrain from turning up late, or on time if there is equipment like projectors to connect with as “Why won’t this connect” will not sit well with your audience (been there! Not a good place as panic can start to set in).

Introductions are a common place part of the presentation but make sure it is relevant to what you are discussing and not a biography of your working career.

Get to the main point of the presentation within 1 minute. Any more and the person or group you are presenting to will start to have questions raising in their heads and quite quickly, the whole presentation is derailed.

  • Solutions not problems – “The market is down in this area”, “Couriers seem unreliable these days”, “There seems to be too many regulations”, “We need more staff” are problems to overcome but the person(s) you are in front of are not necessarily concerned about those, they are looking forward not back. This can potentially be someone else’s problem to deal with, they are focused on the future.

They are looking to defeat competitors, set long term goals and actions so sell solutions or better still, sell the problems that they will encounter and how YOU or your product, will help them. Promote to their emotional attachment and not the data.

  • Sell the vision – There are numerous sayings around ‘facts tell, stories sell’ and although best not to use this in a presentation, consider the fact that what people buy is solutions to THEIR problems, not (well, not initially) the product.

If you sell the product, then the first conscious thought is “what are the features” followed quickly by “how much” and then “we’ll get back to you” enabling them to take the ‘data’ and find alternative prices/sources.

The attention should be centred on how you can help them achieve their immediate situation or better still, their three, five or ten year plan.

Promote the successes you have experienced. People have seen technology, full of high specs with an armoury of facts and figures fail. They, like you, will also have seen success grow exponentially like the game ‘Candy Crush’ that grew without any high specification. People trust their guts over any data, use stories of how you have helped others (Customers and even competitors!) and how they benefited from your services.

Continually ask “Would this prove beneficial to you” and once the nodding of agreement commences, only then should you start on features and then price. This will be less important as long as you are not way too expensive or, come to that, cheap.

  • Drop any fear – In coaching, we often ask ”what’s the worst that could happen?” meaning, in this instance, that you may not win the contract etc. Yes, this may cause problems to finances but never fear the people you are addressing.

Executives or people in power often appear to enjoy deflating the motivation of even those who are there to help them out. It is a power thing, great, let them feel all powerful but you have the tool(s) to actually alleviate the fears that THEY currently have.

This may seem ludicrous on initial appearance but people with responsibilities have the power to make wise decisions but equally costly mistakes that may well affect their career objectives. Don’t fear them but assess what their fears may be and promote the solution.

  • R and RRR – At coaching to success, we believe the R’s are the answer. Firstly, Research. Know what you are promoting and what the BENEFITS are to your audience, not the data. Therefore research into what ails them, what keeps them awake at nights. The three R’s are the key to presentation… rehearse, Rehearse and REHEARSE. Make the presentation fluid and seamless as possible. This conveys confidence and people buy into confidence.

Coaching to success look to positive outcomes and help clients to impart clear, interesting and beneficial presentations. The above will help you start but should you be looking to make that killer delivery then contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

Several Hats to help ready you for decision making

As a Director, I was frequently asked to make decisions. Some relatively easy, such as weighing up one product’s specification to another but some were quite difficult like moving a multimillion pound logistics warehouse, stock and people from one location to another while continuing customer support and expected service levels in the middle of a recession!

Decisions affect us and those around us, it is no wonder the weight of making these can be really demanding on us as well as exhausting!

Your approach may be quite stoic and attempting to change your usual thought process can be demanding. No matter whether you go at it with all the optimism in the world or with careful consideration of each element you can easily miss the opposites of your natural demeanour, ie if you are normally averse to risks, you may miss opportunities.

Personally, I go at things thinking all will work out well, and on occasions, they have not. This is predominantly brought about because I did not always look objectively at the decision to be made but opted for charging straight at it.

With age comes wisdom, luckily I am not that old that I can still learn and, hopefully, you feel the same way so here is an exercise called ‘6 Thinking hats’ (Edward de Bono, 1985) which help you to view a situation from different approaches one at a time.

Let us move ‘ahead’ (sorry!) and examine the how with what each colour hat represents:

  • WHITE ‘Information’ – The facts and available information. This hat wearer focuses on the facts, numbers, realities/certainties based on data presented and past trends. Assess learnings from this as well as gaps in knowledge.
  • RED ‘Emotions’ – Instinctive or intuitive gut reactions? States of emotional sensitivity (with or without justification). Unlike the White hat, this is about working to our emotional strengths or realising how others will react. Others may not understand the reasoning so Red hat wearers consider the emotional dynamics of the organisation and people therein.
  • YELLOW ‘Optimistic response’ – The logic applied or pursuing harmony. The upbeat side. Either you or members of the team who actually see the positive benefits should wear the Yellow hat. When already in the process, Yellow hats are also the motivators who will seek the positives.
  • BLACK ‘Logic/Discernment’ – Practical side. Black hat wearers seek reasons to be cautious or conservative. Look at what the potential negative outcomes may be or arise. They look at things defensively and put good arguments forward as to why it may not work or highlight the weak points.
  • GREEN ‘Creative’ – Provocation and stimulation seeking investigation into the creative or unknown side. Green hats think the big picture and are open to potential new ideas/concepts. They also promote ‘all’ ideas as legitimate and encourage people to think laterally as well as openly to the potential of an idea so it can be explored.
  • BLUE ‘Managing’ – What is the goal? What are we thinking about? Look at the bigger picture. This should be worn at the start and end. This is the process control/decision hat. In meetings, it is won by the chairperson. When ideas start to stagnate, they may turn to the Green hat way of thinking or should a nonplus demeanour set in, then they turn to the Yellow hat process.

All processes start and conclude with the Blue hat. The process may be run by a singular person or a team, regardless, each hat will be worn by an individual or as a group. For example, in Logistics, transport department may wish to take on the Green hat as they are frequently involved with problem solving of deliveries. The office team leader may consider the Red hat as decisions may affect the working team there etc.

This is a powerful technique when used to its full potential with an open approach. De Bono’s system allows all elements (including scepticism) to enter the arena without fear of immediately being thrown to the lions!

An all-round approach considering all angles will result in a complete understanding of the situation, and not simply our own blind-sided thought process. It allows the process to be fully opened but in a controlled manner with the ultimate outcome being well thought through with a solid conclusion.

Coaching to Success specialise in Red, Yellow, Green and Blue hats on the understanding someone knows what the Black and White areas are. We refer to this as the ‘Grey Area’ (my apologies once again, such a cliché) so if you would like to take the first steps towards making great decisions, start with an easy one and contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk, where you will be assured a warm, friendly welcome and the chance to discuss how we can help set a less turbulent path for the decisions to be made.