Coaching to Success

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Conflict Resolution

Let’s be clear about how to communicate…

Clear communication can be the bane of working days if not carried out correctly. In this day and age we have so many means to communicate but all too often we find haste makes waste. So as to avoid making fundamental mistakes in getting your message across, consider the following tips to help you get the most out of your communications…

In times gone by, a letter dropping on our doormat used to be received with emotional attachment. It may be good news or bad but either way, someone had spent time to write to you. It would be read front to back and maybe re-read with the inevitable answer being drafted and posted.

Today’s supersonic highway of communication means we can send a message to Australia and the receiver will have it within milliseconds. Speed now takes over from accuracy or content and the content is what makes the message clear.

Do you find yourself receiving information or talking to people finding that it is unclear what they are trying to communicate? And what of yourself, are you finding the speed of life means your message is sometimes rushed. This being followed by elements of frustration as the recipient does not appear to grasp what you wish to relay.

It may not always be that they do not comprehend what is being said. It may simply be that we are not explaining ourselves clearly. With that in mind, here are our tips towards formulating your message(s):

Communicate clearly:

  • Make it clear, well-structured, polite and easy to understand (use straightforward terminology)
  • Two ears and one mouth, use in that order! Listen to what is being said and paraphrase your understanding
  • Utilise all channels insuring the message has been distributed accordingly (Verbal, Email, Message, Telephone, Presentation, Meetings)

Timely and Accurate:

  • Remove any ambiguity, accuracy is paramount
  • Emphasise levels of importance or urgency. Remove any doubt or misunderstanding
  • Keep concise but containing the correct level of detail
  • Consider the most effective time to deliver the communication
  • Assess when best to repeat/update

Approachability:

  • Openly share information
  • Be open to questions, ideas and approach
  • Allow others to express their views and show a genuine interest
  • Change manner and terminology of delivery if recipient doesn’t initially grasp it (speaking slower or louder doesn’t work – it is often the delivery that doesn’t resonate rather than information not being understood)

Negativity:

  • Refrain from use of inappropriate language, beratement or tone
  • Use positive affirmations over negative ones
  • Actively listen to what others have to say without dismissing before they begin
  • Do not portray yourself as too busy or unapproachable
  • Desist from over embellishing or dramatizing negative facts
  • Avoid giving bad news inappropriately (e.g. using email, social media or text to give negative feedback to an individual)

The key is to keep your message clear, simple, informative, timely and without any prejudice.

Having no clear guidance, people read into what is in front of them in their own way. It depends on their mood, what mind set they are in. Without clarity, ambiguity takes control and that can lead people down a dark path that may not have even been considered.

We help organisations and individuals such as yourself to insure the message being delivered remains focused with a positive outcome. Start the first step by contacting Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

Change doesn’t need to be so daunting…

Sometimes it is hard to admit we were wrong when something we have worked hard to create later is not working as well as it should.

Maybe that what we had achieved was not appropriate for the audience we were aiming at or, such as computers no longer fit for purpose. Circumstances in house or the market may have headed down a different path. Whatever the reason, this is where change comes into its own.

I have recently looked at my very wordy web site and although a lot of work went into creating the message initially, I realised that today’s market demands quick gratification and immediate response. With this in mind, I am now working to ‘Change’ the existing layout.

Change Management is not an easy subject to broach as we are often emotionally attached to a situation, circumstance or, for example my web site, something we have poured a lot of energy into.

Thoughts of failure may arise. This can be associated with levels of confidence, or the reluctance to let go. But holding onto something, is not always the wisest thing to do.

There are generally 5 stages to work through to insure a more efficient streamlined and timely change-over. Consider the following when implementing change. Remember, these same areas apply to you as well, even if you are the only person dealing with change:

THE INTRODUCTION

  • Consider the shock this will have on those affected. What will change mean to their otherwise normal behaviour emotionally or to their work pattern?
  • Deliberate the feeling of coping. Will those involved feel capable of managing the situation?
  • Help! What information needs to be given and at what stage(s)? How can you include those who will be affected and insure they have a sense of input? Two-way communication is the key

WHO & HOW WILL IT AFFECT PEOPLE

  • Who will be affected and how do you keep them abreast of the situation insuring they know it will have an impact on them
  • Make the time-frame very clear with no room for ambiguity
  • Clarity that this is not a whimsical adventure that will be soon brushed under the carpet. This will happen and business will change

RESISTANCE

  • Even when the old computer system rarely functions well, we still have familiarity with all the quirky habits. This same sense of attachment applies to whatever needs to be changed. Become aware of how powerful this emotion is.
  • Avoidance (It won’t affect me!) – Excuses as to why it won’t work and continuation on how the old way of doing things did will occur. Frequently check steps towards the end result are made while promoting the positive actions
  • Anxiety could step in here. Be conscious of peoples’ concerns and regularly converse (not electronically) to relay/receive vital information to help the transition
  • Questions of motives and reasons will arise. Reinforce the new positives over the old ways whilst re-stating benefits of the changes

ACCEPTANCE

  • Treat confusion and elements of chaos during the early stages as small hurdles to obtain the bigger rewards
  • Encourage exploration to support change in new ways as positive ideas otherwise not considered in the first place. Gives a sense of involvement, participation in the greater scheme
  • Look for the beginnings of enthusiasm and use these as the fuel to ignite other areas as yet to find the benefits. In larger organisations, use those who embrace change to be the stewards of positive

COMMITMENT

  • Once the positive ways can be seen, fuel any visible increase in energy towards the new way or system
  • Fully support and encourage motivated people to share and help one another
  • Publish or share the positive affirmations
  • Encourage conversations but re-iterate you are looking for reasons for this to work, not excuses why it isn’

This is but a simplistic overview on what to expect when change is to be made. Change is not easy but it need not be painful or too onerous either. Planning, communicating, positive affirmations and finding support are key to the success

Coaching to Success specialise in Change-management so no matter how big or how small the next change you are looking to undergo, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco.

 

 

Change Management skills required when moving office or premises…

I have recently been involved with two organisations who are moving their whole business and people therein to more suitable premises to handle their situations and growth.

In both cases, the whole focus has been on planning the processes, legal documents are converted through soda pdf which you can view in this site http://online.sodapdf.com, logistics of the move and the how and who of doing it but not necessarily what affect the people will have on the success of the move.

All too often we see the bigger picture of what the move will bring but frequently forget the people who will make this move a success or a failure. A quick transition or a long drawn out one. A beautifully smooth passage or one with mental obstacles at every step.

This then got me thinking that as they were caught up in the process, then so will the majority of others. With this in mind, here are Coaching to Success’ tips to increase the odds of making the transition a much smoother experience.

PLAN – As stated, we often look at the expected ‘outcome’ and frequently from our own perspective without giving as much consideration to the people-side where impact on them is concerned.

I look at people’s working environment noticing their little personal touches which will be altered if a new ‘desk sharing’ policy will be the new regime. Consider what impact this will have on them. And what of those little quirky habits may be associated with the current location compared to the new place, since moving the equipment is easy with the help of services from adtmoving.com but making the people get used to this will be way more complicated. Simple things like mini catch up meetings in the kitchenette while grabbing a coffee that may no longer be available.

Discuss with all stakeholders to allow them the opportunity of raising ideas and concerns. This allows you to squash negative thoughts that likely don’t exist other than in their beliefs. Or to address those that are real.

COMMUNICATE – Communicate often and via different means. Not everyone understands the need for change to their settled working environment or see the benefits. As well as the message itself, think of how you are going to relay it.

I lose count of the times people simply send an email/message! Think of the times you are sent important information via email and leave highlighted as un-read until you get the time to look at… and then forget?

Sending messages is a slippery shoulder exercise of thinking you have informed someone so it is no longer your responsibility or fault if they didn’t read or act on it! Bad news, just because you’ve passed information on, does not negate your responsibility or ownership.

Consider all means to pass vital information on: (i) Face-to-face (ii) Email (iii) Intranet (iv) Presentations/workshops and (v) Social media. Keep in mind, people pay attention to people, so engaging in face-to-face and verbal communication will be key to getting your message across. Email/messaging is useful and timely, but consider that the mood the receiver reads it will dictate their interpretation of what the meaning really is.

OWNERSHIP – Involve everybody in the process. We are communal creatures and even the quiet ones among us like to feel they have a part to play.

Engage ‘Move Champs’ to relay the message and motivate the teams they have been given responsibility for. Not simply the message of process and order but utilise their skills to get the feel-good buzz concerning the benefits of the move.

This requires more than mere buy-in or passive agreement that the direction of change is acceptable. It demands ownership by leaders willing to accept responsibility for making change happen in all of the areas they influence or control.

Ownership is often best created by involving people in identifying problems and crafting solutions. It is reinforced by incentives and rewards.

LISTEN – Be conscious of who your naysayers are and consider what their arguments will be. Better still, invite them (rather than simply ignoring them) to put their points forward.

As a business coach, the most frequent obstacle I observe is leaders expressing their beliefs and demands on others without considering that the other party may actually have a better way of resolving a given situation.

Listen to your people. Do not simply TELL them what they need to do but ASK what they believe to be the best solution. You could be pleasantly surprised if you open your mind to others possibly having an idea you may not have thought of yourself!

“The art of conversation is the art of hearing as well as of being heard.” (William Hazlitt)

PREPARE FOR THE UNEXPECTED – Be understanding but realistic about expectations for the move! We all have our own thoughts on how things should be done or what the outcome looks like for us and this may be somewhat different to reality if we are not kept informed and up to date.

Even the obvious may not be! There will inevitably be changes to the best laid plans and it is not about how these changes affect us but how we deal with them and relay the message to others.

Consider other factors as well, such as staff who may well have had the same regime every day, been located in the same place for years and probably have an emotional attachment to their locale. There can often be a feeling of loss.

Remember, change programmes rarely go to plan. People have an uncanny ability to confuse what we believe to be the perfect solution and the odds of a smooth transition reduces further still the greater the number of people which are likely to be affected. There is no intention to upset the apple-cart but we are dealing with emotional states that rarely are controllable.

Effectively managing change requires continual reconsideration of how individuals will adapt to what comes next. Knowing, analysing and understanding this live data feed, those responsible for change can make real-time adjustments towards reaching the desired outcome.

MAINTENANCE AFTER THE EVENT – So you’ve moved and through careful planning and adapting you have reached your new location, woohoo … but it does not stop there!

Support needs to remain for a while after the transition. Catering for new technologies such as items like the new telephone system, desk sharing, office layouts and many other changes need to constantly be addressed to ease people into the new environment.

Finally, close the door on the old place, both literally and metaphorically by celebrating the success of the move by having an open day or ‘welcome’ event where not only staff are invited by so are suppliers, customers, those involved with the logistics.

Coaching is an exceptional tool to help the transition go as smooth as possible. Coaching to Success are here to help individuals and organisations to understand how coaching can help them help their teams, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk, where you will be assured a warm, friendly welcome and the chance to discuss how change management helps moving to become a pleasure rather than a hurdle to overcome.

Why fight when you can negotiate?

Have you ever noticed how such a simple dispute can erupt into Mount Everest? As that saying goes, making a mountain out of a molehill, so why can something so apparently insignificant become such a momentous problem?

All too often what appears ‘insignificant’ to us can ultimately matter to another person(s) and the way we manage a situation can have positive or diverse effects. This is where negotiation has its strengths. But what is negotiation?

Negotiation is about coming to a mutually acceptable impasse that both parties find acceptable. We all know the saying Win:Win.

Some tasks are easy enough to trade off but others may not be so. In this case, follow this guide:

Preparation

  • Know what you are aiming to achieve and what the parties’ objective will be.
  • How will the more ‘powerful’ party affect the negotiation?
  • Based on knowledge or historic events, what do you consider to be the expected outcome?
  • What do you consider to be a fair outcome and the reason behind this thought process.
  • Gains and losses. Consider what the gains and losses will likely be from both sides, not just your own gains.
  • What’s the trade-off?
  • There may not be one simple solution. Do the homework and explore all the available options.

Rules of engagement (Not quite Game of Thrones!)

  • It can get personal but separate the person from the problem. Stick to the facts.
  • 2 ears, 1 mouth – use in that order. Ask and listen.
  • Understand the other’s views and ask to gain further understanding. Your view is not the only one (sorry, it is a fact!)
  • Respect all involved (even if you don’t like them).
  • Explore options openly without bias. Your view may not necessarily be the only or correct one – I know, it’s hard to believe but there may be a better way that you may not have considered.

Negotiation is about creating a win:win situation, not win:lose or even lose:win (refer to Stephen Covey Habit #4 from ‘7 Habits of highly effective people’).

Consider whether the negotiations are based around Distributive (where things are to be apportioned) or Integrative (where the parties are trying to make more of something) bargaining. This can be a great influencer especially if the relationship is a brief interaction or a longer term development.

Distributive can often be a short term, immediate fix for example, buying a new car so negotiation will be based around gaining concessions. An amount of time will be required to ascertain what is each side’s target price, what ideally is the maximum and minimum price for each side so effective bargaining can be made.

Integrative bargaining is normally based around the longer term relationship building of respect and trust. It looks at collaboration to reach a point where all parties work together to have an outcome that is in both parties’ interest.

In essence, we return to the preparation and to succeed in any negotiation, this is by far the most critical element as it creates the strong platform for all to work to.

Coaching to Success understand conflict resolutions and help their clients to move forward when situations come to a head. We also help clients create plans when negotiation or change is necessary to insure a smoother transition so if you or your team are looking to negotiate, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk, where you will be assured a warm, friendly welcome and the chance to negotiate ways we can work together (integrative).

Just so we’re clear, I’m right!

We all have something that hits us emotionally when someone says something against our own beliefs or values, this is when conflict can start.

I’m no exception to this. Last year a person bought the property behind us with the full knowledge there were trees running all the way along ours and neighbouring properties. His opening comment when he arrived at our door was “I want to come to a compromise regarding the trees”.

No discussion had been held before and no opening gambit concerning tree size was even mentioned, only that he wanted a ‘compromise’ which was possibly not the best way to start a positive relationship with your new neighbours.

With this in mind and memories of historical working ‘disagreements’ I thought I would share my top 6 tips towards conflict resolution:

  1. “What’s it all about?” Clarity is the key. Not always apparent, maybe a constant niggle which can soon develop. It is imperative to establish, through discussions, what the disagreement is and each side’s stance. Usually we only break through the surface and seldom drill down to the core so an arbitrator (someone who is not affected by either party) is a great person to have to ask incisive questions. If they are not available, both parties should write down every little detail that they feel applies.
  2. Find the common objective. Take a pragmatic approach rather than relying on emotion. Just for a while, drop the barriers or defence, as I did with the neighbour, take a breath and both sides discuss what each of them would like to see happen. Search for the commonalities and work from these.
  3. “That won’t work because..” Before you start, establish what the barriers are as these are what need to be worked on/through. What was it that started the conflict and why was it important to take the stance. Once these have been established, then a resolve can be worked towards but they need to be delivered in a logical way rather than emotional. Should there be areas that there is no way to change, discuss methods of getting around the impasse.
  4. Positive discussions. Avoid debating or arguing who is right or wrong. Now it is time to listen, truly listening to each other and coming together to work towards the common objective. This part is probably one of the hardest parts, especially if the dispute has been building. But it is critical to drop the defence and look to positive outcomes.
  5. Yellow brick road. Much like the Wizard of Oz story, work towards the end goal and deal with issues along the way and find solutions. What do both parties need to do to reach the objective? What are the common grounds to work with? Reflect back on what the catalyst was to insure there is purpose behind reaching the objective together.
  6. Own it. Insure that both parties understand what their responsibilities are to reach the agreed goal. From an NLP perspective, it is important to verbalise your own responsibilities rather than being told them. Use your own words and actually saying them out loud, the likelihood of making them work is massively increased. Sentences such as “I agree to take responsibility for…”.

This is much easier when a dispute is in its infancy, however, when items have started to really set root, these steps need to be revisited regularly and often at each stage along the agreed path.

Talking of roots, we did have a tree surgeon come round and lop some off the top and all overhanging branches to their side. Possibly not to the degree they wanted but that was what he wanted – a compromise!

If you are having a dispute where there doesn’t appear to be a reasonable outcome either yourself or members of your team, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk, where you will be assured a warm, friendly welcome and discuss what it is you wish to achieve.