Coaching to Success

Our business is your success

Resilience

Stop texting and let’s start talking…

Albert Mehrabian, professor at the University of California reported that to be truly congruent in the art of conversing, 55% comes from gesticulation/body language, 38% tonality but only 7% from the words.

Yet, how do we spend most of our time communicating? Emails, messages and text, we are losing the art of conversing!

What stops us from going up and simply talking to someone? Sometimes it is fear of saying the wrong thing, being rejected or ignored. Often, within reason, it is not so much what you say as how you come across.

Confidence is a massive factor and this is portrayed in the way we hold ourselves (55%), the manner in which we speak (38%) and finally the words we use (7%). Think of how you engage with friends or family when you are relaxed and how you laugh and relate with them.

Starting a conversation can feel quite daunting if your usual approach is to wait for someone else to instigate it. Confidence is the key and those who know me will recognise the fact that I have no problem with events, such as weddings or business networks, going up to a complete stranger to engage in a chat.

Consider the following:

  • Question don’t announce – Begin the conversation by using ‘open’ questions. “Hi, you know James then do you” will generally result in Yes/No reply whereas, “Hi, nice to meet you, so how do you know James?” will open the conversation. Closed questions start with anything that will result in a singular worded answer. Open questions normally start with what, how, why that requires expansion in their reply.
  • Humour works – Relaxed introduction of funny quips works well. We all like to laugh (mind you, if that person over there doesn’t, best avoid them!). Let things flow from the conversation and add anecdotes appropriately rather than memorising gags such as Tim Vine “I’ve decided to sell my Hoover – it was just collecting dust”, (I do like that though!)
  • Show Interest – First and foremost, people like talking about their situation so be personable. Show interest in them and base your questions around things they will know, eg. Ask how they know James. Remember, this is not an interrogation so avoid drilling them with questions, ergo, a conversation sets sail.
  • Mutuality – The conversation is neither all about them nor you. You will never be able to rehearse the perfect conversation as it is a two way situation. Approach with the ‘we’ as opposed to ‘I’ scenario when it comes to what the subject matter may be and wonder what they will talk about. This change in mindset makes conversations much easier as transferable onus is on them momentarily until the banter starts.
  • Power of smiling – This may not help the crows-feet but I’d rather walk around with a smile on my face than not. Therefore, refrain from looking in horror at the person or group as if they are the main character in Jaw’s but remember this is a social interaction. You radiate warmth with a smile so let it hover naturally and when the other party talks, let your eyes and mouth smile, embrace them.
  • Taking it personally – Remember, others may be in a similar situation with confidence issues. They may have an agenda that does not include talking to you. Whatsoever the case, let it be their problem and not yours! Take on board all the ideas here and whatever the outcome, do not take it personally.
  • Less is more – Have you experienced someone giving you too many details, like how their car broke down from pick up through to technical fault. Did you feel obliged to listen? Had they simply stated they put the wrong fuel in and what a headache it caused them, we would be more interested. Brevity is the key. Keep your points succinct and refrain from including all the details, just those that are relevant to the tale.

We hide behind electronic devices and all too often I see people standing uncomfortably corners of the room, so much so, I feel architects will soon be designing dodecagon rooms so more can find a corner!

Practise makes perfect and the more you stretch yourself, the easier it becomes to recognising signs that people are open to engage in conversation.

Coaching to success use tools to explore peoples’ preferred styles such as MBTI, John Heron and Belbin then methods to help with confidence so should you or someone you know want to benefit with a direct approach, see how relaxed I am in conversation by  watching our video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco then contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help.

And now for something completely different

As the Monty Python team put it, “And now for something completely different…”

We can get so caught up in the day to day activities of our business we forget to take a step away from what we are doing to consider alternative ways of working.

As a director, I made sure applicants from other trades and experiences for jobs advertised were considered, thus insuring a good mix when it came to opening thought streams for alternative ways of approaching a task, objective or goal.

It is challenging, especially in today’s economic climate, to be brave enough to take these chances but be assured, it is probably the least risky approach of expanding your businesses productivity, knowledge base or marketing awareness.

Frequently we stick with people from within the industry, but consider that some will leave a job because they do not get on with a particular person or, more commonly, they do not like the way they are expected to do a task. So they move to another company where, after the honeymoon period, find it is just the same there too, imagine that!

New blood brings fresh approaches. A thirst for knowledge but also to share new ideas otherwise not considered as we normally fish in the incestuous pool everyone else swims in.

Albert Einstein quoted “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”. This is not to say there’s insanity in your organisation but more the fact that if you repeatedly do the same thing, the same results happen.

Much like taking a different approach to employment, have you considered some of these areas:

  • Giving staff the trust to work from home?
  • Development Change – Those you make to improve business procedures. Such as improving existing billing and reporting methods. Refocusing marketing strategies and advertising processes.
  • Transitional change – Those you make to replace existing processes with new processes. Such as experiencing restructures, mergers or acquisitions.
  • Transformational change – Those you make to reshape your business strategy and processes or shift in work culture. Such as adopting radically different technologies. Operating changes to meet new supply and demand.

Whether you are a successful business or one that is struggling to get the break, there are fundamentally 6 areas that change is needed for it to survive:

  1. Products/Services – Do not react when something goes wrong but proactively experiment with new ranges or demographics.
  2. Branding – Does it still reflect your business? Branding should remain consistent but that doesn’t mean you should never spruce it up?
  3. Marketing – How ‘Alive’ is your web site? Do you use all/any of the Social Media channels? What of post? Do you actually test to the effectiveness of your marketing strategies?
  4. Staffing – How effective are the team members? Have you assessed how effective staff are in their current role or could they improve by shifting them to another function?
  5. Technology – These evolve quickly but it is imperative you keep abreast of communication, marketing, presentation, hardware etc.
  6. Partners – Steven Covey put it as “Interdependency”, combining being independent with dependency. In business we need others to help us succeed. Look to network with others, open your eyes to potential opportunities.

Wherever you or your business are at, always look to do something that little bit different to insure you stand out from the crowd.

Coaching to success specialises in Change Management as well as enabling you to come up with fresh ideas you may not have considered previously so reach out and contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

Who is to be held accountable these days?

In recent years, I have noticed an increase of living in a blameless society. Everywhere you look you see painted yellow lines indicating where you can or cannot walk! Signs warning of hot liquids in coffee cups! Political correctness left to run riot and when it comes to reprimanding someone, we are on a different subject all together.

Common sense appears to have been pushed to one side and replaced by other people being held accountable for the action or direction of an individual through strict, unbendable ruling. We appear less and less to be able to do what our gut tells us is right. We live by signs telling us there may be issues with taking control ourselves. But this is counterproductive to the way we, as humans, progress.

I have written many a feature about Leadership qualities but accountability should be about individuals owning and being accountable for their own actions without always having to be told or guided.

In coaching, we use the Circle of Concern vs Circle of Influence model. Particularly around confidence building and being held accountable for our own actions.

With the latter being placed inside the former. Showing that if we allow concern to be the dominant factor, then our influence is diminished. However, if we take charge of our situation, our influence will flourish having an effect on lowering levels of concern.

Studies show the most effective organisations are those where individuals/teams feel like they have influence and influence can only be brought about by a sense of being held accountable.

That said, let us now look at how best to hold people accountable for their own actions, or, better yet, give them control over decisions to have accountability which gives them empowerment. We have an acronym for this, D.I.R.E.C.T.

(D)Direction – Set a clear vision and the direction a person should follow. Ambiguity has no place as this leads to ownership falling in someone else’s lap. If people are given too many points to head towards, the likelihood is they will never achieve any, well, not to their full potential.

(I)Integrity – Work to an environment of integrity over ass covering! By this I mean that if a task hasn’t been achieved, do not first look to reprimand but establish the reasons behind how it has been managed. Accountability rises as a result of developing courage to tell the truth rather than simply what the other person may want to hear.

(R)Results – Offer clear definition of what you or the organisation requires. In sales, this may be a given target to achieve. In production it may be the number of Gizwots per week etc. With regards HOW they get there or the means by which they deliver, an element of autonomy needs to be given too.

(E)Expertise – Being given the skills to do a job is paramount to individuals becoming accountable. If there is confusion, lack of understanding or support, then people will not feel accountable as they do not have the expertise to carry out the task. Training, coaching, or teaching people the skills they require gives confidence to handle the responsibility of becoming accountable.

(C)Communicate – “Assumptions are unopened windows that foolish birds fly into, and their broken bodies are evidence gathered too late.” (Bryan Davis). Without clear communication, assumption’s tentacles reach out and take hold. As a leader, insure people know what they are accountable for and establish two way communications to alleviate any queries or doubts as to what is required.

(T)Trust – As a leader, consider how staff look to you. Insure your motives are clear so no questions need be raised. Reward efforts, not just the achievements. Refrain from taking advantage of people, easy done when someone consistently out performs others! And give credit where credit is due, ie don’t take someone else’s but raise them up, it will also reflect well on you. These do not necessarily represent accountability but they do represent trust which enables the other factors to flourish.

This is but the start to developing a sense of accountability. Another great tool to help improve ownership is coaching which helps individuals become accountable as we address the barriers to succeeding. Establish the best way to handle it and formulate an action plan to achieve the objective. All the way along the path is to be clear and focused on the end. Whether you attempt to coach people internally or bring an expert in, coaching helps build the confidence to handle accountability.

If you are looking to go beyond this first level and wish to improve levels of accountability, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

Change doesn’t need to be so daunting…

Sometimes it is hard to admit we were wrong when something we have worked hard to create later is not working as well as it should.

Maybe that what we had achieved was not appropriate for the audience we were aiming at or, such as computers no longer fit for purpose. Circumstances in house or the market may have headed down a different path. Whatever the reason, this is where change comes into its own.

I have recently looked at my very wordy web site and although a lot of work went into creating the message initially, I realised that today’s market demands quick gratification and immediate response. With this in mind, I am now working to ‘Change’ the existing layout.

Change Management is not an easy subject to broach as we are often emotionally attached to a situation, circumstance or, for example my web site, something we have poured a lot of energy into.

Thoughts of failure may arise. This can be associated with levels of confidence, or the reluctance to let go. But holding onto something, is not always the wisest thing to do.

There are generally 5 stages to work through to insure a more efficient streamlined and timely change-over. Consider the following when implementing change. Remember, these same areas apply to you as well, even if you are the only person dealing with change:

THE INTRODUCTION

  • Consider the shock this will have on those affected. What will change mean to their otherwise normal behaviour emotionally or to their work pattern?
  • Deliberate the feeling of coping. Will those involved feel capable of managing the situation?
  • Help! What information needs to be given and at what stage(s)? How can you include those who will be affected and insure they have a sense of input? Two-way communication is the key

WHO & HOW WILL IT AFFECT PEOPLE

  • Who will be affected and how do you keep them abreast of the situation insuring they know it will have an impact on them
  • Make the time-frame very clear with no room for ambiguity
  • Clarity that this is not a whimsical adventure that will be soon brushed under the carpet. This will happen and business will change

RESISTANCE

  • Even when the old computer system rarely functions well, we still have familiarity with all the quirky habits. This same sense of attachment applies to whatever needs to be changed. Become aware of how powerful this emotion is.
  • Avoidance (It won’t affect me!) – Excuses as to why it won’t work and continuation on how the old way of doing things did will occur. Frequently check steps towards the end result are made while promoting the positive actions
  • Anxiety could step in here. Be conscious of peoples’ concerns and regularly converse (not electronically) to relay/receive vital information to help the transition
  • Questions of motives and reasons will arise. Reinforce the new positives over the old ways whilst re-stating benefits of the changes

ACCEPTANCE

  • Treat confusion and elements of chaos during the early stages as small hurdles to obtain the bigger rewards
  • Encourage exploration to support change in new ways as positive ideas otherwise not considered in the first place. Gives a sense of involvement, participation in the greater scheme
  • Look for the beginnings of enthusiasm and use these as the fuel to ignite other areas as yet to find the benefits. In larger organisations, use those who embrace change to be the stewards of positive

COMMITMENT

  • Once the positive ways can be seen, fuel any visible increase in energy towards the new way or system
  • Fully support and encourage motivated people to share and help one another
  • Publish or share the positive affirmations
  • Encourage conversations but re-iterate you are looking for reasons for this to work, not excuses why it isn’

This is but a simplistic overview on what to expect when change is to be made. Change is not easy but it need not be painful or too onerous either. Planning, communicating, positive affirmations and finding support are key to the success

Coaching to Success specialise in Change-management so no matter how big or how small the next change you are looking to undergo, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help. You’ll get a better understanding of Neil too by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco.

 

 

When all around you seems to be collapsing…

Sometimes when things seem to go wrong, you think “Why do I bother?”. I’ve had one of those weeks where my front door key snapped off IN the door! The oven’s heating element burnt out and to top it off, the Blue Ray player decides it no longer likes discs.

All typical things that can affect our perseverance when it comes to work or home.

Why did I not give up? Partly because I could not get in to cook dinner so we could then watch a film. Seriously, it was not so much the action as the attitude! It would have been easy to have a tantrum or feel aggrieved but no. Although an uninvited hassle, resolving the situation would insure things returned to normality or, more importantly, when things really matter, improving the end situation.

Easier said than done so here are a few tips to change the mindset towards a positive outcome by ‘Perseverance’.

Believe in yourself: “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right” (Henry Ford). Give up on trying and start doing. If you have doubt, ‘Trying’ something gives you permission to fail. Believe in yourself and commit psychologically to achieving it.

Evidence based actions: I have been as guilty as others for worrying about what might or might not happen. As the saying goes, attack is the best form of defence. Rather than getting tied up in the worry, recognise it then quickly get on with it so as to reduce the build-up of worry.

Put procrastination in her place: With today’s fast moving pace, laptops, tabs and mobile phones mean we are available 24/7. Or are we? Don’t let technology or others dominate and control your precious time. Allocate time to attend to them rather than being enslaved. What is the true reality of having to ‘immediately’ answer the device as it beckons you or are you simply procrastinating?

Reflection: Each day, look back over what you have done and make a note somewhere of what you achieved. Each week or month (depending on time scales), spend time reading over your notes to re-kindle the motivation to carry on.

Automation: It may seem obvious but reduce the time spent on repetitive tasks by creating systems, templates and suchlike. Mail Merge, for example, is great for correspondence where minor differences need to be applied to what is otherwise a long winded process especially those that are required weekly/monthly.

Understanding: Avoid shying away from a task due to lack of knowledge. Do not be afraid to ask questions. Improve your understanding of the situation. This may be as simple as establishing the required outcome rather than a perceived one! If you are not familiar with something, ask those in the know. People like to share their knowledge so never be afraid to ask someone something they will enjoy talking about.

Keep the end in sight: Goal setting along with the actions to achieve it are what Coaching to Success specialise in. Know what your ultimate goal is. Compartmentalise each element required to get there and set time-framed goals with actions for each step. It is always easier to handle smaller sections of the bigger objective and a great motivator to tick off each as they are done. Much like doing a jigsaw, one piece fits neatly in with the next and before long, you have an amazing picture made up of its several parts.

Coaching to Success work with clients to gain clarity in their end objectives. To break the bigger picture into jigsaw piece size goals and help set realistic times for each. With motivation, clarity and direction, we can help you or those you are responsible for to persevere to the end and feel the benefits of accomplishing it.

To improve your own levels of perseverance, take the first step by watching our interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco then contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help.