Motivation

Mar 02 2015

How do you handle rejection in business?

We all know rejection can be hard to handle and in services such as mine, where the open minded can see the benefits that a good coach can bring but some can’t, therefore, rejection is an element of moving forward for me and especially where people don’t really understand the benefits on offer.

You can’t avoid rejection whether it be in relationships, life or work but the positive is that it helps with development and self-education as you identify areas for adaptation and change.

More often than not though, it is the feeling that affects our emotions and emotions aren’t logical, so let’s put some rationality into the equation.

Don’t take it personally – ‘Personally’ is an emotional state and often rejection makes us feel as if it is ourselves that is under attack. Self-doubt creeps in, ‘How could I have presented it better?’, ‘What went wrong?’, ‘Why didn’t they like me?’

Now look at it differently – what was it about the proposal/idea that was rejected?

Frequently it’s not about the person but the offering that is being rejected yet we apply rejection to our thoughts and they in turn connect to emotions! It’s often a simple case that what is being proposed doesn’t meet the criteria so take yourself out of the equation and then re-assess the situation.

Focus on control – Those with Internal Focus believe they have control over what happens in their lives. Those with External Focus believe it’s others, chance or even fate that have control. So decide whether you will allow others to influence the way you feel or take control of it yourself.

This may sound a tad harsh but maybe it needs to be said to ourselves!

Learn – Look at this logically and learn from the rejection. Whether it was simply a case of the presentation could have been better or not matching the recipient’s needs etc., gather ‘facts’.

If you can establish what the reason was (removing emotion!) for the rejection, you will be able to improve thereafter. Carry out a self-analysis of areas you believe contributed to the rejection.

Better still, don’t make assumptions, ask! Make it clear you have accepted the rejection but in wishing to learn from this experience ask what didn’t work for them. You may be surprised to find out how freely the recipient will be in giving you this information (if you’re willing to ask).

I have been dumbfounded on occasions with reasons that I simply wouldn’t have even considered. I have certainly been educated in not to assume!

In business, rejection is part of day to day activities. Your resilience to deal with it, learn from it and take action on your new found knowledge is the key.

As that old expression goes, you can please some of the people some of the time… so it’s not all about you as a person but more likely a mismatch between what or how you are making the offering and not an assault on you or your emotions!

Coaching to Success helps you find yourself, give support and offers clarity to what you are aiming to achieve with the means of getting there. For further information, simply call Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk for an informal conversation to see how we can help increase your Locus of control or other matters concerning business development.

Feb 02 2015

How to achieve the best from appraisals

As is the nature of what I do, ie ask a lot of questions to gain clarity of thought and direction, it wasn’t surprising when I was recently asked to help a client with appraisals.

This brought about a shudder running down my spine remembering days where the big boss would hold appraisals. Or rather, interrogation, where you felt placed in beaming spotlights, asked a myriad of questions extracted from some manual that bore no resemblance to what you actually did.

Bombardment of questions with answers not even considered. A one way conversation on how you need to improve is not, I know this will be hard to believe for some, the correct way to hold an appraisal!

Remove the shackles of normality, re-look at what the appraisal should be about. This is a joint venture for all to develop better ways to harmonise the workforce. Dare I say, ways for the company/manager to also improve as a result of observations from the staff! Now there’s a thought.

Fine tune your LISTENING skills too. Avoid the ‘Why’ question (justification) and ask questions that open with What, Where, How, Who, When (exploratory), eg ‘What would the reason for this be’.

Prepare a report of the appraisee.

List training needs and discuss.
Note both what organisation and the appraise needs to do.
Look back – how well has the appraisee performed against set actions
How could they have done better?
Look objectively, not emotionally. Work off ‘evidence’ based aspects.
What hurdles did the company put in their way as well as what they put themselves
Look forward – what achievements are you looking for over the next 6mth/yr
How will you assist them in reaching their objectives?
Draft a report within 3 working days, both sign and conclude the process within 5 days

Art of listening

Show the appraisee that you are listening – look at them
Listen to what they DON’T say – look for avoidance around issues
STOP TALKING! – once asked, let the appraise answer. If there’s a pause, allow them time to process what they are thinking about.

Conducting

Review appraisee’s documents (ie time keeping, job description, client/customer feedback etc)
Allow at least half as much time again as anticipated to carry out the appraisal
Highlight success and initiatives taken.
Question how failings could be handled better (without reprimanding!)

Feedback

All evidence based. NOT around personality or assumed motives
Provide examples and not generalisation of observed behaviours
Ask appraisee to describe their thoughts and feelings about the impact that an identified behaviour will have (ask rather than tell)
As Stephen R. Covey stated “First seek to understand, then to be understood”. Use this philosophy throughout the questioning in the appraisal. Both will get so much more from it

Before any meeting, create questions under headings such as Job & Expectations, Supervisory, Fulfilment & Morale, Continued Personal Development (CPD), Teamwork, Equality & Impartiality, Communication, Organisation’s Overview, Clients/Customers so you gain a broad spectrum of understanding and this can then be analysed to create further questions at the one-to-one meetings.

If you wish to go through the process of Appraisals and want to get the best out of managing them or help running them, contact Coaching to Success’ Neil Nutburn, email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or call 07761 187238 to set up discussions. We also have 60 incisive questions based on the above headings too.

Coaching to success is all about creating successful businesses, firms and organisations. We’re here to insure you succeed.

Jan 19 2015

Motivation starting to wane?… Here are 8 tips to get you back on track

How often do we have this image of succeeding? Setting our ship’s sails to go forth only to find we run out of wind half way there!

There are many reasons for this. Maybe we got caught up in the excitement of what will be but let the struggle of getting there elude us and our island has now become a speck somewhere on the horizon!

How do we re-gain that lost energy and get back on course? Read on and let’s get you re-aligned, heave to, weigh anchor and set sail once again.

Fun! – Establish what elements could be fun to reach your goal. When we enjoy doing something, we’re more inclined to do it. Set mini personal challenges, if cold-calling is one, count how many abusive people you come across and smile as you put another tick against that category.
Positive Self-talk – create ‘positive’ affirmations as to what you wish to achieve. When I ‘Gave up’ smoking some 14yrs ago, so, rather than ‘Giving up’ look to a positive such as ‘achieving a healthier lifestyle’.
Look at the Motivators – Who around you appears to be motivated? E.g. I’m inspired by Richard Branson. But you can also look closer to home. A friend, customer, work colleague, those rarely disheartened. What do you notice about someone who’s motivated? What do you think they say to themselves?
What if scenario – We frequently use this tool at Coaching to Success. Consider these questions, (1) What would happen if you do make that change? (2) What would happen if you didn’t? (3) What won’t happen if you do make that change? (4) What won’t happen if you don’t?
Vison Board – A visual aid which uses both the logical ‘left’ (management, written) side of our brain as well as the emotional ‘right’ (creative, artistic) side. Create something artful that’s visible at work or home. Find or draw images and then do the same for steps to achieve it with dates against each.
Assess the negatives – What are your obstacles? What’s holding you back? List out everything that stands in your way, then set about overcoming them.
Support – Find those around you who understand what you aspire to achieve and ask them for their support. You’ll be surprised as to how people do want you to succeed, you just need to ask!
Rewards – In coaching, we find people will set a reward for achieving the ultimate goal. This can be enhanced even more by setting ‘mini-rewards’ along the way for those intermediate tasks when completed. They don’t need to have massive value. E.g., I love decent coffee so when I’ve accomplished something, like writing this feature, I’ll treat myself to a lovely brew and sit back for twenty minutes to enjoy it. Chocolate??

These are but a few steps to help you achieve or at least re-align yourself to that ultimate goal. Coaching to Success work hard with their clients to insure they reach their goals by being the motivator and driving force behind them so believe in yourself and when you need that additional push, contact us.

If you wish to know more, simply take 10 minutes out to contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk and discover how we can help motivate you to keep on track and reach that destination.