Confidence

Aug 31 2015

Change is a necessity in our lives but how do we handle those we didn’t wish for?

Often the pleasant things that change go un-noticed while those which go against what we’ve been used to can cause fear or trepidation. Consequently, if you are in the throes of change that is out of your direct control, rather than rebel, look at it from a positive manner, adjusting your own preconceptions as to how it may work out.

To begin, actually adjust your thinking

Reframe – Look to encourage new experiences to get you out of the ‘Norm’ rather than the ‘How will it affect me’ in a negative sense. Give it some positive meaning.
Process orientated – Any Great British Bake Off fans? Well think of change like baking! Stick with me on this … whether it be bread or cakes, there are many ingredients and steps to ultimately produce the wonderful results. It takes time and patience. Change is no different, it needs to be worked through. No ‘Knead’ for any other analogies here!

Okay, now that’s set the way of thinking, let’s move on to territories we experience in change.

Change is inevitable – Changes occur frequently throughout the day and we handle them without a thought. A pen and it runs out, we change to another without thought, a minor change. You see a building site going up, a major change now for those working there and the soon to be new residents It doesn’t affect you, nonetheless, accept change happens.
Change is just learning! – So it’s something you’re not familiar with? Think of some major but pleasurable changes you’ve undertaken. , it was all new to begin but now you’ve probably settled into it quite well now. A little like driving, the first responsibilities at a new job etc. Enjoy new experiences through wanting to learn rather than fearing the unknown.
Address your feelings – Especially when you have no choice. Try avoiding the victim approach of “This isn’t fair, why me?” If it’s out of your control, the decision has been made so start searching for the positive elements. This will be hard to begin but with enough practice, you’ll search the more comfortable way of travelling your new direction. Positive thinking assists in building bridges or opportunities!
Opportunity – welcome change as such. You’ll spend less time fighting it and while you’re searching, write down the positive experiences you’ve found that will open these doors to opportunity.
Notice enjoyable changes! – consider all the areas where positive outcomes can be found in change. When was the last upgrade of your mobile? How many new great features does your new phone now offer. Think of how we used to listen to music and how portable it now is! These are enjoyable changes but even so, they are changes!
S.M.A.R.T. Goals – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant & Time-bound. My clients will tell you how important I believe this to be. “A dream is a dream but a goal has a time limit!” Create an accurate goal with start, middle and finish. Each component having clear settings with time against each and the most important thing is to establish when you will START and not when to be done BY!

One of the biggest helps is your ability to find a supportive network. Whether this be in your workplace, home, family or friends, look to someone who may have had similar experiences and how they overcame their initial concerns.

Coaching to Success understands change is inevitable. As George Bernard Shaw put it “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” And this is where we specialise, in helping you find new paths and then embracing them as you do.

With the change of mind-set, you can achieve almost anything and for those really difficult situations, contact Neil by email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or call 07761 187238. If you’re online, have a look at his interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help.

Apr 27 2015

How can we make decision easier?

Some decisions are easily made, others have many connotations due to complexity of people involved, too many options or the need but not necessarily the ‘want’ when it comes to having to make a decision.

Decision making is primarily based around problem solving so now you are considering two elements. If you look at your daily routine, you’ll find you are constantly making, just not really acknowledging it as it becomes routine.

However, once we drift from familiarity, we encounter uncertainty where the decision you make may have a major impact on life, business or other people.

I believe we’re all capable of making decisions once we develop complete confidence in our abilities. So, to help that process, consider the following ‘5 point implementation plan’ next time you have that unfamiliar but all important decision to make.

Positive Environment

Look to what the benefits will be as a result of making that decision. Where there are others involved in the process, encourage the positive features and also their contribution.

Get the facts first

All too often I see people trying to make decisions simply based on apparently saving money (upfront costs at least).

Gain all the facts first. For example, if choosing between suppliers, compare hidden charges, perhaps an annual rebate structure or how reliable are they? I once lost a 500m2 order for plasterboard to a rival company because they were 1p/m2 cheaper. I later discovered they had turned up 3hrs later with 6 guys on site waiting! That was a payment of 18hrs skilled labour for a saving of £5! You do the maths.

Check out the options

Insure you have looked at all the alternatives whether it be a product, a service or a process. Explore what alternatives there are by using those around you.

From here consider implications of each along with risks and practicality … insure the solution matches the objective and funds can match both.

Select the best

If the answer is still vague with each option having its benefits, create a ‘decision matrix’. A simple tool that removes the emotional attachment of decision making. Draw a matrix with options going from top to bottom down the right side. Along the top from left to right, the criteria required to be met. Along each option, give a rating from 0 to 10 under each criteria and on the far right, total up.

Whichever scores the highest will prove to be the best overall option.

Once done … walk away and do nothing! Return a day later to re-examine or, if an urgent decision is required, still walk away for a short while and return with fresh eyes to re-evaluate what has been decided.

Announce and proceed

Put on your inspirational hat and go out there to inform all those who will be affected by this new decision.

If there is a team of people involved, encourage them to participate, giving them elements to control and be responsible for. Insure they know how important they are to the overall success of this decision, give them ownership.

Coaching to Success’ director, Neil Nutburn, welcomes your enquiries if you are considering change but unsure the best way of moving yourself or your business forward. Darwin wrote “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change”. So for those who endorse the evolution of moving forward by making decisions, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk.

Mar 30 2015

How is your Self-Motivation doing? Need a pick-me-up?

Sometimes, in those moments of slump, we need to find areas of inspiration to get motivated! So take charge of your goals and here’s help to achieve this…

Self-motivation is a complicated subject as what drives us can be different as to what drives others. A common link is the ability to set challenging yet reachable goals that push us.

With this in mind, here are three factors to build levels in self-motivation.

1. Confidence – Building self-confidence

As a martial artist, had I considered my competitors to be too strong or fast I would never have entered competitions. When it came to grading, had I thought them too challenging, well, I wouldn’t have progressed.

This is no different in our lives or business. Those who don’t believe in themselves or their abilities will start by thinking “I know I can’t do that” and will often achieve their own self-fulfilling prophecy. Those with a positive outlook will think “OK, that didn’t work but this one set-back won’t stop me” approach.

Building from a point of self-confidence insures a much greater chance of success. The consequential joy that this brings positively hits the endorphins setting you up wanting the next challenge, creating a self-perpetuating circle.

Steps to help confidence:

Set goals that are obtainable and go get them! Then get the feel-good factor.
Ask friends and colleagues what they see as your strengths – you may be surprised!
Do a self-analysis on SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunity, Threats). Focus on areas you could stretch or improve yourself (W & O)
Look back on your achievements. Remember how you felt.

There may be knock-backs but look to what positive things you can take from this.

2. Positive, Pro-active and future forecasting way of thinking

This is an assisting factor to self-confidence. If you constantly look for the negatives, you will find them and continue to live by that mantra, however, those who find the positive will likewise, fulfil that mantra too.

When questioned about the number of attempts to develop the light bulb, Thomas Edison replied “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work”! Now that’s positive mind-setting.

Steps to help Positive Thinking:

Challenge ‘Negative’ thoughts, replace with ‘Positive’ ones. Re-frame the way you say things (ie, not to ‘give up’ but to ‘aim for’)
Visualise how things will look better once your goal has been achieved
Read books on positive thinking styles (put ‘positive thinking’ into Amazon for a plethora of choices!)

3. Strong goals (S.M.A.R.T.)

You’re most probably already aware of the SMART acronym (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time scale). By setting these, self-confidence increases as each stage is achieved giving focus on ‘Positive’ mind-set.

Look at every component of SMART and set your goal around these.

Steps to help setting strong goals:

Make goals difficult enough to be interesting but not unsurmountable
Progress report! Frequently check up on how you are doing
Prioritise – make sure things are in order of relevance and importance (check out this blog for time management matrix)

Coaching to Success are renowned for being another element of motivation, and that’s being held accountable to someone! If you make a commitment to someone, you’re chances of success improves dramatically and we’re here to help support you along YOUR journey of self-motivation.

Whether looking to gain clarity to what you are aiming to achieve or needing that assistance to get you on your self-motivational journey, Coaching to Success are here to help. For further information, simply call Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk for an informal conversation to see how we can help increase your ‘Mojo’ or other matters concerning business development

Mar 02 2015

How do you handle rejection in business?

We all know rejection can be hard to handle and in services such as mine, where the open minded can see the benefits that a good coach can bring but some can’t, therefore, rejection is an element of moving forward for me and especially where people don’t really understand the benefits on offer.

You can’t avoid rejection whether it be in relationships, life or work but the positive is that it helps with development and self-education as you identify areas for adaptation and change.

More often than not though, it is the feeling that affects our emotions and emotions aren’t logical, so let’s put some rationality into the equation.

Don’t take it personally – ‘Personally’ is an emotional state and often rejection makes us feel as if it is ourselves that is under attack. Self-doubt creeps in, ‘How could I have presented it better?’, ‘What went wrong?’, ‘Why didn’t they like me?’

Now look at it differently – what was it about the proposal/idea that was rejected?

Frequently it’s not about the person but the offering that is being rejected yet we apply rejection to our thoughts and they in turn connect to emotions! It’s often a simple case that what is being proposed doesn’t meet the criteria so take yourself out of the equation and then re-assess the situation.

Focus on control – Those with Internal Focus believe they have control over what happens in their lives. Those with External Focus believe it’s others, chance or even fate that have control. So decide whether you will allow others to influence the way you feel or take control of it yourself.

This may sound a tad harsh but maybe it needs to be said to ourselves!

Learn – Look at this logically and learn from the rejection. Whether it was simply a case of the presentation could have been better or not matching the recipient’s needs etc., gather ‘facts’.

If you can establish what the reason was (removing emotion!) for the rejection, you will be able to improve thereafter. Carry out a self-analysis of areas you believe contributed to the rejection.

Better still, don’t make assumptions, ask! Make it clear you have accepted the rejection but in wishing to learn from this experience ask what didn’t work for them. You may be surprised to find out how freely the recipient will be in giving you this information (if you’re willing to ask).

I have been dumbfounded on occasions with reasons that I simply wouldn’t have even considered. I have certainly been educated in not to assume!

In business, rejection is part of day to day activities. Your resilience to deal with it, learn from it and take action on your new found knowledge is the key.

As that old expression goes, you can please some of the people some of the time… so it’s not all about you as a person but more likely a mismatch between what or how you are making the offering and not an assault on you or your emotions!

Coaching to Success helps you find yourself, give support and offers clarity to what you are aiming to achieve with the means of getting there. For further information, simply call Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk for an informal conversation to see how we can help increase your Locus of control or other matters concerning business development.

Nov 25 2014

Top 8 tips on delivering truly powerful presentations

I was recently fortunate enough to watch Chris Packham displaying his photography while presenting his passion for saving wildlife around the world.

His fervour was evident through his deliverance which then got me thinking about how, as businesses people, we frequently have to do presentations. Although I now have no worry of standing up in front of an audience, I remember the days of sweating palms, nerves managing to evaporate moisture from my throat and constantly fumbling for loose change in my pockets!!

So here are Coaching to Success’ top 8 tips on how to deliver that all important presentation.

Establish Credibility

Forget the long intro, keep it short and relevant. Share past involvements that lead to this presentation.

Write the dialogue

Preparation to a presentation is the key! Write the whole dialogue, rehearse then rehearse again. Another tip (having learned through being a mason) is to recite it out loud, not just in your head.

Deep breathing

This helps slow the racing heart down. Pace the speech to insure you don’t deliver too quickly. Try to mimic conversation speed.

Jackanory time!

I may be showing my age here. Jackanory was all about storytelling and they say stats are interesting, facts convincing but stories are engaging so tell one that encourages the audience to join in with the journey!

Tonality & Emphasis

When wishing to get a point across, elevate your volume and use gestures whilst altering your tone. When wishing to get facts and figures across, slow down, lower the volume so the audience needs to really listen

Visual aids

Don’t play around with something you need to draw their attention to later. Keep the attention on yourself and remember (through rehearsing) when the next slide is to be shown without having to look at it.

Don’t pace up and down

It’s off-putting to see someone pacing around a stage. A trick I learned was to stand on one side when delivering and to stroll to the other when asking! The audience subconsciously recognise when they are to listen or to participate. By strolling you are seen to be comfortable.

Q&A Time

Always allow time for feedback. Also, members of the audience may have other questions raised as a result of what you delivered. The better you answer these with re-affirmed interest, the greater it reflects point 1. Prepare for questions that attempt to derail you. Be confident in your reply without getting personal. Plan answers for questions you feel may fit this criteria. No questions asked? Eek! No problems, have a few up your sleeve to help them. “You may still be wondering about…”, “one thing I’m often asked is..”

This is but an overview of areas to be considered but is a great foundation for getting the message across positively and confidently. You can’t be expected to know all the answers all of the time but when it comes to your presentation, this is one area you can shine in and remember, the audience are here for themselves primarily!

If you have any questions or would like to discuss how Coaching to Success can help you with that all important presentation, take the first step by contacting Neil either be email, neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or call 07761 187238 where you are assured a warm welcome.