Stress

May 23 2016

Is confidence natural or developed?

Is confidence about being born with the right gene or is it cultivated?

Confidence emerges from accomplishment with a belief in one’s capabilities, so is really nurture over nature and depending on how we develop, our confidence levels will be affected. It is also related to the symptoms of feelings when dealing with challenges whether personal or work related.

It’s also about judgement of how you feel others perceive you. This is not to say that you shouldn’t give a …., but more about not allowing other’s views effecting your own judgement about yourself.

As an example, I was with a client before Christmas in a high street coffee shop. We discussed confidence levels talking with regards speaking to strangers and if in a group of unknowns, how they felt. After they expressed their thoughts, I wished to prove a point about how we shouldn’t be fearful of what others may think of us. So, to demonstrate this, I stood up in the middle of a busy shop and asked for everyone’s attention, then simply wished them a Happy Christmas and a fantastic weekend, then sat down.

I daresay this caused conversations in the shop and well beyond but it proved a point that nothing negative happened to me and that I couldn’t control others views of me of which there would be a variety of, so best to let those thoughts go.

But how do we look about boosting our own levels? There are generally 9 exercises but here are 6 to help you on your way:

BREATHE: When you are nervous or preparing for a big event, breathe evenly until you calm down.
GET A NOTEBOOK: Record the good things that you manage to do. Whenever self-doubt creeps in, or you feel down, open this notebook and start reading it.
BODY LANGUAGE: When feeling low, look at your posture. Change it to look up and forward with your back straight, keep your head high.
SET GOALS: If you do not have goals in your life then you do not know where you are going. Set goals in every area of your life. Set goals that are very clear and have a certain deadline on them.
COMPLIMENT YOURSELF: Talk about the great things you did in the past, this week, today. Say things like: “I am truly amazing! Just to think of how fast I solved that problem!”, “Wow, Fred came to me to help him as he knew I could help and I did”
EXERCISE AT WORK: Notice the things that you do better than others. Find these things, then, admit to yourself that you accomplish these better than others, commit to becoming even better on it. Read books, talk to people in the know, become an expert.

There are many ways we can help boost the confidence levels but these are some good starters to kick off with.

Whether they be areas of personal or work related issues around confidence, contact Neil for a coffee meet (I promise I’ll try to refrain from standing on the table!) either by mail at neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or direct via phone 07761 187238. Our business is Your success, let us help you grow in confidence to reach up to your own personal goals of achievement.

Apr 27 2016

5 steps towards making that decision…

In the past, as I progressed through the ranks of corporate management there were important decisions to be made of which I really didn’t know where or how to start but, in the end, I got there.

You know what it’s like, you make correct decisions, woohoo, everything pops up with that wonderful fragrance of roses. However, when it goes wrong, all you can smell is that stuff you put around the base of them!

So surely it’s imperative that we offer some mindful consideration that isn’t blinded entirely by emotional outcome? Knowing others undergo these same pressures, I felt I’d share my learnings and the several steps I developed to aid that final decision:

The Gathering – (Nothing to do with Sean Connery/Christopher Lambert in Highlander for those fans out there!) Is all about the information. What do you need? Write these down so they’re not scrambling for positioning or confusing your thought process. Look within yourself as well as factual or logical sources. Are you comfortable with the potential outcome and have you the skill-set to manage it.
What else? – As you gather your data and information, be sure not to become blinded by a singular path to find the answer. By this, I mean that we often will find alternative ways of doing the thing we seek. Listen to other suggestions openly and add them as possibilities to your list.
Get the scales out! – All areas of decision can be measured and these values weighed. Try creating a pros and cons list such that you rate each item by a score of up to 10.Write a split list of pros on one side and cons the other. Try not to be biased but look at each item independently. Weight it according to your chosen criteria. Now bring the emotional elements on how it will affect you with the practical, logical or financial ones. Tot up all the scores to see which comes out strongest.
Bite the bullet, make the decision – How often do we jump the gun and make a rash decision that doesn’t work out as hoped? From this, we may assume other decisions will end similarly. However, using the above, your decisions will be calculated rather than random!
Take action – Create a timeline, a plan with dates and order. This is your measure to insure that your decision is correct. As part of this sequence, set in review dates or times to asses and make sure that your decision is still the correct one. If it’s a purchase, allow time before making it, checking there are no other unconsidered areas. Creating a deadline adds a healthy element of pressure (but don’t allow it to seep into stress!)

These are an informal way of introducing ways to help decision making. Coaching to Success utilise these and other tools to help you with the process. Good luck and here’s to positive outcomes through processed decision making.

Along with other areas of making positive change, we invite you contact Neil Nutburn on 07761 187238 or email to info@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to arrange a free, no obligation consultation to discuss areas we can help you prosper. Coaching to Success work to a simple philosophy in as much as that, if you don’t feel the benefits match your return on investment, the coaching session will be credited in full… That’s how strong ‘we’ believe in what ‘you’ are capable of doing!

Nov 23 2015

How to manage stress when change is imminent?

Change can cause Stress. Stress can lead to a big bag of trouble. So what can we do about either or both?

When I left the security of a position with added benefits… you know, a decent wage, car, pension etc, I embraced change but didn’t realise how stress would impact on me as a result of this!

I welcomed change but for it can bring about frustration (“there goes that opportunity of promotion!”), resentment, fear (“will I lose my job?”) and feelings of unfairness (“great, more work!”) due to the fact the ‘change’ was enforced.

The consequent outcome often leads to stress. If we’re not working to our full potential, productivity declines, followed by diminishing profits. This then usually means cut-backs and here we go again! And this is just from an accountant’s perspective. What about the morale in the workforce or the sickness absence record?

It’s no surprise that most will attempt to reject change. After all, it’s the fear of losing something, resisting because we simply don’t want it while not knowing how to deal with it!

Therein starts the belief that if we resist it enough, it will simply go away. Alas, this rarely happens. So begins the transition curve of change which follows a path of Shock – Denial – Sense of incompetence – Acceptance – Experimentation – Understanding – Integration. The first is where management is the most critical.

Some key questions to help us understand/be understood, thereby giving the information that will relieve the development of stress include:

What fear will be raised?
What internal/external culture will feed this fear?
Are people afraid to raise their fears/concerns?
How will this fear affect the business through its service or delivery?
What will be the outcome if people can’t raise their concerns?

As a leader, these questions need to be asked. Having a clearly defined plan concerning how the change is to be communicated, and I don’t mean just ping everyone an email!, to incorporate the aforementioned answering what you foresee as being primary areas of concern, will help people to understand that change is not to be feared but embraced due to its benefits to them!

‘Communication’ is critical in reducing stress. Once you’ve established answers to the earlier questions, you can incorporate this into your announcements.

Clear, concise and accurate information relaying what are the perceived likely fears and how this will be addressed, the timeframe, people’s responsibilities and buddying systems all aimed with the intention of expressing the purpose, benefits and need of the business that they will engage in. This will all give the individuals a sense of understanding and, more importantly, a sense of purpose that they are critical to the success of this change.

This information assists effective change-management, stabilising the environment without allowing assumptions that may well poison a tranquil working atmosphere!

Without clear communication, people will feel threatened. Look to endorse some of the following to assist with a ‘reduced’ stressful environment (we don’t like change so there will always be an element of stress, let’s just try and bring it to a minimum so all can enjoy the workplace):

Provide assistance. Not everyone will pick up change at the same speed
Offer a variety of support not just technical but coaching, counselling, leadership and interpersonal skill training
Be aware of how you communicate this change. Electronic formats such as email should be used to back-up or enhance face-to-face meetings/seminars.
Frequently relay updates emphasising the positives and commenting on areas that need improving
Consider holistic means to alleviate stress such as providing training on relaxation techniques, nutrition, self-awareness, time-management and confidence/self-awareness development.

Stress affects us all differently. As an outgoing person, my signal is when I go quiet, hiding myself away! Other signs people show are loss of focus or attention, fatigue, tension of muscles and work may be affected through shortcuts being taken or lack of accuracy/focus. Know your own signs as well as those around you.

Without considering the human element of change, all too often I have seen change take much longer than anticipated as no one has considered the fact it is people we are dealing with and not machines!

Coaching to success specialise in change-management offering workshops for teams or management teams that will either be subjected to change or are about to introduce it. Should this be an area that you believe will help your organisation, contact Neil directly on 07761 187238 or email neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to have a complementary and confidential discussion
or meeting to see how we can help you manage change effectively and efficiently thus reducing costs through engaging the team quicker and more productively through reducing the possibility of stress and the negatives that can bring.

Sep 14 2015

The Power of People’s help via successful delegation!

Often delegation can help relieve an element of stress. The reverse can be said when you try to handle it all and everything then seems stuck or at least moving only in first gear.

Delegation sounds easy, after all, you pass what you don’t want to do onto others … simple! The true art of successful delegation is not that easy. But done correctly, successful delegation build teams, strengthen the business, improve productivity/profit making for a more pleasant working environment.

So let’s start by ascertaining some reasons ‘Why’ as in why people don’t delegate!

No-one has the same level of knowledge.
It takes time to explain what is required – quicker to do it myself!
Fear of delegating yourself out of a job.
Your lack of trust in others’ capabilities.
You don’t know how!

You have progressed to a level but now can’t move forward as your workload eats into your time and more! So how do we get around this? It will be easier to break this into sections.

WHEN to delegate

Your own skill sets can be enhanced or new ones developed by passing other tasks on
Ascertain if this ‘Truly’ has to be done by yourself or whether someone else can manage it
A chance to improve another’s skill-set by them taking it on board

Some of this takes being honest with yourself. There may be tasks which take you out of your comfort zone so you avoid them and, worse still, avoid delegating them for fear someone will know notice!

WHO to delegate to

Check the current workload of the person. It’s no more beneficial to the organisation if you simply pass it onto someone in similar situation.
Skill set. Do they have the skills or how long would it take for them to grasp its importance?
Up-skilling may be a great opportunity for a person to start the promotional ladder!

HOW to delegate

Clarity, from Stephen Covey “Begin with the end in mind”. Insure the person knows when the work is to be completed by. Where they can get resources and what the expected outcome is.
Authority – again, make it clear who has overall responsibility and if this impacts on others, make sure they know too.
Matching workload – insure you delegate to the lowest level. Make sure the work is appropriate to the level of the individual. If anything, give it to someone who will need to stretch a little to achieve it in order to raise their skillset!
Motivation – never underestimate the value of positive motivation. A simple “Well Done” can carry so much weight. Recognition that they have been selected or promoted may be a sufficient reward in itself.
Results – Focus on the outcome. They may have a different, potentially improved productive means of carrying out the task. Assist when required but also allow them to self-develop as you too may learn something.
Support – It’s never wise to ‘Micro-manage’ people, but in the same degree, to leave them completely to their own devices with a new task is equally wrong! Be available to answer questions. Arrange update reports/meetings to allow them to raise concerns and questions.

CONTROLLING the task

Create a delegation log sheet. Indicate who you’ve given a task too and expected completion dates.
Allow them room to find their own way of doing things.
Explain why they have been chosen. This should be done to promote their emotional attachment.
When completed, set time aside to go through the objectives and outcome. Allow lessons to be learned if areas haven’t been done.

Although there is still a lot more to be learned, the above steps will at least set you on the right path towards some of the elements involved with positive delegation.

Coaching to Success specialise in gaining clarity and responsibility. Should either yourself or a member of your team want to enhance your delegation skills to get the best out of your team, please contact Neil by email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or call 07761 187238 to arrange an complimentary meeting and if you’re online, have a look at his interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help.

Aug 03 2015

‘Procrastination’ – Why do today what you can put it off until tomorrow?

How often do you find that you are about to start something with the best intentions only to find … sorry, hang on a minute, let me just read this email, oh, I better have a look into this… and sometime later we’re back to writing this feature!

There are several reasons we (and I include myself in this!) let procrastination get a grip. These may include:

Waning interest – This is sooooo boring!
Motivation – The Mojo has taken a holiday!
Skill factor – Umm, how do I do this?
Rebel – Don’t want to do it and I’ll prove I don’t have the time!
Failure – What if I can’t do this?
Success – If I do well, will they expect more?

There will be more but I have found that these 6 normally top the bill, so let’s look at them individually.

Waning interest – If, like me, when doing something that’s not that interesting, the ping of an email or something irrelevant but enjoyable suddenly seems to take precedence … STOP! Find somewhere without the distractions and concentrate.
Motivation – Do you believe you need motivation to begin a task? How about this for a radical idea, start the task and then find it! Even the initial steps to beginning a task can promote the somewhat lacking motivation. Set yourself up with a reward once complete, after this feature, a nice inexpensive filter coffee and half hour read of a book will be mine!
Skill factor –Sometimes it’s our own beliefs that hold us back. As a coach, many of my clients hold unfounded beliefs until we establish exactly where the problems lie and look at ways to overcome them. Consider breaking tasks into manageable parts. What is the starting point and the desired end goal? See what areas you are competent at, others may require some additional training or even delegating.
Rebel – Predominantly another ‘subconscious’ level barrier generated from power struggles. I was amazed how when someone gave me a task I didn’t wish to carry out I managed to find every reason for not accomplishing it on time, whereas, jobs I did enjoy, would be cleared straight away! Remove the ‘Emotional’ attachment to the task and look at it from a practical sense. How much trouble would I be in if I don’t complete it? How will this benefit my business by completing on time? Only you can know the truth of this and letting the emotional attachment go will give a much clearer picture.
Failure – None of us set out to fail, nonetheless, it is something that we learn from. Each step we take we learn something new or to persevere can win out in the end. Take J.K.Rowling for example, she got rejected by numerous publishers while working as a waitress. Her break came from the publisher’s 8yr old daughter begging him to publish it! Sometimes it’s simply down to timing!.
Success – “Now if I do this right, they’ll expect me to continue or even improve!” Maybe expectations of you will be increased? And with each successful outcome, you raise your standards once again. Consider each and every task on its own merits WITHOUT considering where it may lead.

There are many tools that can help with procrastination, however, the biggest obstacle is ourselves! Until we start to realise what our own barriers are, procrastination will let its tentacles stretch out and feed on our daily distractions.

Coaching to success work towards breaking down barriers, opening up confidence levels, assessing what’s ahead and planning to succeed in whatever goal their clients wish to attain. To improve your own levels of procrastination or focus, take the first step by contacting Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk and if you’re online, have a look at his interview video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco where you’ll be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help.