Stress

Aug 30 2017

The payback of perseverance …

I spent a gruelling bank holiday weekend building a defence barrier against a stream at the bottom of our garden with extremely heavy railway sleepers. Fortunately at intermittent times, I had family and friends to add moral and sometimes physical support to see it through to the end.

In this instance, it was physically exhausting but I could see and remained focused on the long term objective and benefit it would bring. Much like business, I was looking to stop things slipping away in an eventual landslide as a known factor, in this case running water!, could take control if I didn’t see this through.

Perseverance to see things through to the bitter end can be exhausting. If we remain unfocused and unmotivated it can easily be lost. Procrastination steps in to offer her enticing wares to steal you away. Interest can wain and attack the psyche as to how important it now is and conspires with procrastination taking you off the well thought plan.

So how do we battle with these two enemies of our mind? Here are a few guidelines to consider and work with:

Clarity: Know the reasons for reaching your objective. If unclear, get the clarity you need so you have purpose.
Intention: Don’t base it on a whim. Work out what and who you need to help achieve it. What is the strategy? Establish the timeline. Not just the end but for each step along the way.
Recognition: Know and acknowledge what you have achieved against your time frame. The goal is 100% and at the beginning you will be full of energy to reach it. If you get past the middle, the end is in sight. The middle is the tricky area where continued focus and recognition is required. Share your successes with others and have the courage of your own conviction to see it through.
Live now: All too often we dwell on the past. That has gone and changes cannot be made so live now. Negative memories do not contribute to our moving forward so let them go. Refrain from allowing these emotions or feelings to keep a hold over you.
Review: Check daily on how you are progressing. What areas need tweaking or have slackened. How well are you doing against targets and celebrate each passing goal reached.
Regeneration: I learned a long time ago the importance of making time for yourself. Move away from the task or project completely for a spell. Easier said than done when the pressure to complete is mounting but the best thing you can do is take a scheduled break. Do some exercise (I practice martial arts to get my frustrations out, I apologise now to my training partners!). Work on your sleep and what you eat/drink. Listen/read articles based on stress release.
Optimistic: Remain positive along the journey. Check in with others who know of your objectives and each day, or at least every other day, write a note to yourself on how well you’ve done to date. One client used to write these positive affirmations at the end of each day and stick his successes in a jar. At the end of each month, he would tip them all out to read which helped keep the morale going.

Back to our wall by the stream. It was completed and the sense of achievement still fills me with pride days after having built it and will for some time yet as the garden takes a different form resulting from what has been achieved.

Henry Ford once famously stated “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” So the biggest aid to perseverance is Positive mind talk. In this time of assumed negativity, buck the trend and start thinking positively! See how things start to happen for the better.

If you are feeling downtrodden or your team has lost that spark, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk, where you will be assured a warm, friendly welcome and the chance to discuss ways we can work together to get that drive back once more.

Jul 03 2017

Building on past setbacks. How to develop your resilience…

People often refer to how Thomas Edison persevered over others’ scepticism of his diversity. There are others, such as James Dyson, who likewise fought through challenges. Taking 15yrs, 5100+ attempts creating a bagless vacuum.

Resilience is the ability to get back up when knocked down or not going to plan. So why is it so important?

People often comment on how I overcame throat cancer diagnosed in Feb 2008. I use this as an example for most wouldn’t even know I suffered with it or the hard work it took to be able to eat the simplest of meals but this is another form of resilience. I would not be beaten, so now enjoy a wide variety of foods that otherwise I would not have had if not for resilience.

In business/life, it is critical that we neither dwell upon nor wallow on how things appear unfair. Resilient people acknowledge and learn from mistakes or situations, using this as ammunition or stepping blocks to forge forward.

Resilience is as much about the mindset and self-talk as it is about viewing the glass as half full, not empty (or as some have said, “Neil, your damn glass is overflowing”!). It is about how you perceive life and situations. We will always be subjected to knock-backs but it is how we deal with these that our strength of character and persistence originates. Here are some areas that I noticed the aforementioned people used:

GOAL SETTING: Obviously, as a business coach, I believe this to be one of the most important areas. You can set SMART goals and make sure they align with your beliefs as well as values to insure a higher chance of success.

PERSPECTIVE: put things into perspective. They may seem overwhelming but assess what affect this may have long-term. Incorporate these areas into your goals and know how to break them into manageable or relevant parts.

POSITIVE THINKING: Consider how you talk to yourself or mind-chatter when something goes wrong! Do you focus on the negative or look at it as a lesson to be learned? Convert to the positive, eg “That didn’t work” to “knowing that, how can I…”. Reframing the way you talk externally and internally changes the mindset.

SELF-CONFIDENCE: Believe in yourself and work from the success you have achieved including those at school, college, University and the workplace. Self-confident people will also learn to take risks (as did Dyson). Confidence encourages taking these necessary risks from as early as taking the stabilisers off our bikes for the first time!

LEARN: Mistakes can be painful. The first fall once the stabilisers have been removed, but we move forward by getting back on (excuse the puns) and learning from the experience. Never stop learning and always find ways to improve from reading, watching experts, observing others and taking risks.

FLEXIBILITY: Kodak, Encyclopaedia Britannica and Woolworths ignored how the world was changing. Sticking by the old format and failed spectacularly. Constantly refer back to your objectives/goals making sure they can bend to accommodate new elements for development. It is important to work to a plan, however, constantly review and change where necessary.

RELATIONSHIPS: A great asset to have in building your resilience is a strong network of friends, family and colleagues. Stephen R.Covey wrote about ‘Interdependence’ emphasising the importance on building strength through experts around us who support us in areas of uncertainty or needing help.

REACTION: Bad news or negative actions can have a devastating effect on how we respond. For example, going back to the cancer, the news was not only shocking but impacted on the future. Treatment options were considered and chosen, developing a positive plan.

SLEEP & EXERCISE: As much as releasing endorphins, which stimulate positive thoughts, exercise helps stress-management. Being in a sedentary job, I go out walking at least 5 miles per day, helping clear the mind and giving focus when I return to work. Whether it be the gym, walking, cycling, a sport or, as is my other love, martial arts, find an exercise you enjoy and insure you get quality sleep to rest your body and mind too.

This is an area Coaching to Success are well versed in so if you or members within your team are finding Resilience to be out of reach or slipping through your grasp, then contact Neil to discuss how he can help by emailing neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or 07761 187238.

And why not get a feel for the person by checking out our short ‘interview’ video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

Jun 06 2017

Avoid making ‘Goal Setting’ mistakes…

In this day and age of ‘too much to do’, how often do we set off with the best intentions only to find time flies past. We start off well with apparent progress. We feel good about the progress and what lies ahead but then…

We neglect to look back at previous successes. Motivation wains and before we know it, we convince ourselves that it probably will not work anyway!

Don’t worry if this sounds all too familiar, I too used to fall foul to procrastination or setting unrealistic goals. Having learned by my own mistakes and concentrating on what obstacles are in the way of us achieving our end objective, I felt this was too important to keep to myself so happily share some of the findings with you now.

Error 1: Unrealistic Goals

Having worked in sales and being set unrealistic targets, I can really relate to this. The acronym SMART(ER) Goal Setting should never be underestimated.

Let your imagination go and allow doubt to have a say but not to rule! Once you have set a goal, step back and assess the facts to check that it is achievable and in the set time frame. Remember, “A dream is but a dream but a goal is a dream with a deadline!”.

For example, my wife decided to Walk-the-Walk (26ml through London at night in aid of breast cancer research). She did not wake up on the morning of the event and think to herself “I’ll do that”. It took months of training to obtain the right level and as a result she achieved it within her time frame.

SMART(ER) goal settings focus on being Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound and recent additions include Evaluate and Re-adjust.

Error 2: Underestimating Time

Time and valuation seem to constantly occur as being underestimated. Looking at time, think back on previous projects. How many were rushed at the end or not completed within the time frame at all?

This is one of the killers to motivation.

Look to use tools such as ‘scheduled’ to-do lists. Allocating time for the goal or parts therein. Consider project planning tools such as ‘Tasks’ in Outlook or search the web for ‘Top 10 best project management software’ to see what is appropriate.

And always, ALWAYS allow extra time in your estimate to allow for unknowns and/or setbacks.

Error 3: Not reviewing

Unless the goal is so simplistic that it does not require breaking into segments, ‘Evaluate’ where you are along the given path and then making relevant ‘Readjustments’ (See ER above in SMARTER) is tantamount to signing off failure.

If still on target, celebrate the success. The reward does not need to be high (I like to treat myself to a decent coffee and half hour break to enjoy it once these blogs have been completed) but treat yourself, acknowledge yours or the team’s success.

If not, re-adjust so the end can still be met.

Error 4: Too many goals

Once we start it is so easy to keep going with the ideas and goals but there are still only 25 hours in a day (or, so one of my ex-bosses used to believe!). Time-Management is a misdemeanour as you can’t manage time (unless you are Dr.Who) but manage what you have to do, in the time before you.

If there are many aspects to the overall goal, I use the Wheel of Progress which is a great tool to compartmentalise each section. Contact me if you wish to talk about this.

Simply, consider the ‘R’ in SMART and be realistic in what you can achieve. Success relies on quality not quantity and achievement of a few things at a time.

Error 5: Too few areas

In as much as it is important not to set too many goals, it is equally important to make sure there is a range of goals.

Doing ‘fun’ objectives that bring you joy are important to offset those ‘tasks’ that are necessary within your work goals that may not be that interesting or enjoyable.

This can be important elements to the Wheel of Progress mentioned earlier.

Error 6: Setting Negative goals

No one does this intentionally but all too often we set negative goals that affect our belief in our abilities to achieve them.

For example, to improve work life balance, refrain from setting “stop staying behind at work” to “leave work by XXX and spend more time with YYY)

Negative goals suggest we have to give something up. Look to reframe them with a ‘Positive’ outcome which becomes a more desirable objective.

Error 7: Depreciating failures

Really? I need to look and appreciate my failings?

No matter how focused you are on the outcome, reaching every goal is not always possible. With the confidence to accept this, it becomes possible to learn from them.

Each of the above areas need to be considered and worked on when setting goals/objectives.

It is not easy to give honest views of what we can achieve in the time we have due to other influencing pressures but to achieve them, all too often you need to find that strength to be truthful not only to yourself but the task ahead and the realistic time frame.

At Coaching to Success, Neil specialises in helping individuals or teams to set realistic goals and then support them through the challenges ahead to insure they are met. If you or those around you could benefit from a one-to-one with Neil to see how he can help, contact him by emailing neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or 07761 187238 to discuss how Coaching to Success can help you.

And why not get a feel for the person by checking out our short ‘interview’ video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

Feb 27 2017

Finding that internal Motivator

I was recently asked to do a presentation for a group of business professionals based on the subject of improving the level of determination, or as we would refer to it ‘Motivation’.

Those who know me often comment on how motivated I am. Those who know me well will know this hasn’t always been the case. Pressures of work, those who influence moods, lack of direction are all contributing factors to how I was affected. In today’s climate, so many people, possibly including yourself or those you work with, also feel pressurised through work or personal issues.

How do we address this? Self-motivation is complex, but there are four main factors acting as the driving force behind the drop in motivation.

Confidence
Positive thinking
Focused and Tangible goal setting
Motivating environment

It is vital to consider all four to drive self-motivation forward.

CONFIDENCE

Exercises to help boost this:

BREATHE: When you are nervous, you should not talk, but breathe until you calm down.
GET A NOTEBOOK: Record all the positive items that you manage to do.
BODY LANGUAGE: Eyes forward, back straight, keeping your head high.
SET GOALS: If you do not have goals then how can you know where you are going. Set goals in every area of your life. Every area! Work, personal & social life, health and fitness, and every area that is important to you.
EXPAND: One of the simplest confidence building exercises is to expand one’s knowledge area. Find the essential areas for work or home and improve your skillset at those.
COMPLIMENT YOURSELF: Have you ever complimented yourself on a daily basis? If not, set about changing that.
EXERCISE AT WORK: What skills do you have over others and with no effort? Find them. Admit to yourself that you have them, then commit to furthering these skills.
SELF-HYPNOSIS: At night, as you feel sleepy, lie in your bed and repeat simple affirmations along the lines “I can do anything. Anything. Anything that I set my mind to do. There is no one and nothing that can stop me”

POSITIVE THINKING

All too often when feeling challenged, our minds slip into what we are fearful of and these negative thoughts feed themselves. Look to aspire towards positive objectives as opposed to the negative of having to ‘Give up’ something.

GOAL SETTING

Realise your goal/objective, write it down. Check through all the areas that may interfere, timescales, people etc. Consider ALL options, even the most ludicrous (they may eventually have a place)! Write down actions for selected options that will be most beneficial to act on now. Set a time to START each and a completion time. Be accountable to someone for each.

MOTIVATING ENVIRONMENT

Surround yourself with people and resources that will remind you of your goal. Which will, in turn, help with ‘internal’ motivation. Be careful not to rely on them. To begin, you probably will. As you get more comfortable, competent & confident, your self-motivation will mean you’ll rely on them less frequently.

That’s the skill of your business coach, to hold you accountable and create that belief in yourself that you can do something but this is backed by actions and plans, not simply the arm around your shoulder.

So if you are prepared to move forward and need help in the early days, then contact Neil, neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or 07761 187238 to arrange a free consultation on how Coaching to Success can help you. Also, to get a feel for the person, check out our short ‘interview’ video at https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco

Feb 13 2017

Explore the options before making that decision!

Whether it be personal or business, we make decisions each and every day.

Sometimes seemingly relatively insignificant decisions, such as which desert to opt for from the menu? Actually, I will retract my statement of being insignificant as this is quite an important decision to make! Through to those large ones of whether to move house/business or even the path we are currently on.

What brought about this week’s feature was working with a client who had tough decisions over the direction of his business. Potentially meaning a reduction in overheads, or in businesses terms, cutting staff numbers!

Due to situations that were beyond his control, he was now left with this dichotomy with no clear options for him to take. Fortunately I was able to assist by giving clear direction of thinking as I was without the emotional baggage that attaches to the way we think when being personally affected.

All too often we start thinking a certain way and quickly establishing all the contributing factors to support and make this the right and only route to take! However, unless we actually put up a competing debate, this argument becomes more of a statement without depth.

To help view the given subject matter from different perspectives, the Cartesian Quadrant (a geometric mathematical equation) was adapted to ask a given question in four different ways with regards the outcome of change as such:

What WOULD happen if you DID make that change? (Visualise goal fulfilment – increasing motivation)
What WOULD happen if you DIDN’T make that change? (Identify the pain of staying unchanged – which can be a powerful motivator)
What WOULDN’T happen if you DID make that change? (Understand what will be lost the goal is achieved – this could be a useful loss, or a painful one!)
What WOULDN’T happen if you DIDN’T make that change? (Identify hidden perspectives and feelings. This question befuddles our left or conscious mind and can provide fresh perspectives through intuitive leaps)

Once we can look from different approaches with an open mind, we are able to start addressing the potential options available to us. As a coach, one system I use is G.R.O.W. which looks at the Goal or objective, the Reality of the situation to give clarity and remove incorrect thoughts created by unsubstantiated beliefs. Onto the Options which cover, through incisive questioning, all possible ideas and then select a few that are relevant at that moment in time to create the Way forward.

Looking at various subject areas, we worked through the above combination for each and arrived at a plan that not only insured the safety of his most valuable assets, ergo the staff, but a means to diversify the business direction with a clear plan to make it work.

Decision making is not about doing the first thing to come into our heads but to look with open eyes at the possibilities around us. At Coaching to Success, we endeavour to help our clients to look beyond their initial boundaries for making decisions and welcome your contact (Neil by email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or call 07761 187238) should you find yourself or business constrained by what appears to be a lack of options available. Also, have a look at Neil’s interview video https://youtu.be/RvCwOL4hPco. You’ll always be assured a warm welcome to discuss how we can help.