Change

Sep 29 2014

5 Chairs to conflict resolution!

I got myself into a potentially heated discussion the other day through a dismissive comment I made that hit a raw nerve!

After receiving a barrage of aggression, I realised how easy it is to upset someone. So what did I do? Stand and fight back, but to what end? Just to prove I was superior in the use of the English language (that’s not to say I was!), only to create the catalyst for a break down in our relationship over a petty remark?

Now, I realised that I was at fault and should have refrained from using flippant remarks. The situation dispersed straight away when I put my hands up and announced “my bad, I only meant to make light of the situation”. At this point, the hypothetical inferno that could have potentially gone out of control was eliminated.

All too often, we allow simple situations to spiral with both parties wanting the upper hand. It’s not a sign of weakness to back down, more of strength, as long as you are doing it for the right reason, ie I was in the wrong, not to simply appease the other person.

So what happens when it’s gone beyond the niceties and there is a definite issue, with seemingly little resolve due to the fact that “I’m not in conflict, they’re simply WRONG!”

This tool is best handled with someone to arbitrate and ask the questions. It involves 4 chairs facing in on each side of a square and 1 chair to the side.

Person one. Directly opposite is…
Person two. The chairs on either side will be…
The company/boss/family and opposite…
Outsiders looking in.

The 5th chair is for person ‘2’. Observing only.

Person ‘1’ sits in chair 1. Questions are asked concerning their views, reasons and thoughts behind what has started this conflict. The arbitrator’s task is to ask questions while insuring person 2 doesn’t interrupt.

Once person 1 has exhausted their thoughts, they are then asked to sit in chair 2 and express how they think person 2 feels about the situation. This is the critical stage for person 2 to listen and realise how their actions affect the other person.

When complete, asked them to move to chair 3. How would the company/boss or family look at what it going on and eventually to chair 4 representing someone who could potentially be effected by this.

Once complete, the whole exercise is repeated with Person 2 starting off in chair 2, then 1, 3 and 4 and the first participant in the observation chair.

When completed, all parties are brought together having a clearer understanding of cause and effect, working to resolve issues as logic has had an opportunity to step in rather than allowing emotion to gain full control.

The physical movement between chairs is an NLP trick that triggers the brain to realise they are leaving one post behind and can see clearer in the next post.

Debate adds energy to new potential ideas. Conflict dampens the thought process and the potential of moving forward. This can be costly not just for business but the morale too.

Coaching to success know the right ‘incisive’ questions to ask as we’re trained in this process to alleviate the tension and build on answers given. If you have conflict and are looking for a resolve, then make your initial enquiry with Neil either via the phone on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk for a friendly, informal chat to see how we can help.

Aug 18 2014

How do you define a good leader? 15 areas to assess and 5 to adopt…

Is it true that leaders are born, not created? Be careful not to misinterpret the vociferous amongst us as being good leaders. Natural personality often means these people end up at the front, leadership is actually a set of techniques and skills anyone can learn to adopt.

A good leader will require excellent management skills, whereas a good manager, may not actually require leadership skills!

Having looked across many different areas from the legal fraternity, general offices, retail to call centres, I am amazed at how many are feeling downtrodden and lacking enthusiasm to do better, why is this? The reality is often a need in improvement of leadership skills!
Leadership is about the people, management the process. Another observation I’ve seen is management need to do things right whereas leadership requires you to do the right things.

So to help, here’s a list of 15 leaders’ typical behaviour pattern. Give
yourself a mark, or assess someone who is in your organisation that is classed as a leader, out of ten and scribble it against each.

Patience to allow time for individuals to change
Attitude to earn rather than demand respect
Confident
Mistakes are dealt with justly allowing lessons to be learned
Exceptional role models
Deal with causes of issues rather than firefighting symptoms
Willing to upset the equilibrium for positive change
They say what they mean, and mean what they say
Decisive
Seek and endorse ‘new ideas’ culture
Do not create ‘favourites’ or ‘cliques’
Refuse to blindly follow the norm
Understand importance of adequate rest and relaxation
Focused on positive outcomes rather than negative personality traits
Face reality and if it’s not great, they don’t pretend that it is.

The maximum possible score is 150. Any areas below a score of 7, questions should be asked pertaining to what’s needed to do to raise the level. Below 5 and urgent attention is required!

Great leadership isn’t something learnt over night. It is a malleable form, growing and developing. More natural rather than simply logical. It’s a change of belief and a re-adjustment of values. Although I consider myself to be an exceptional leader, hmm! I still refer back to the basics to see where I can improve!

Talking of which, here are 5 areas I use towards becoming that better leader. Even the most successful leaders among us can use this as a reminder.

Focus on the team members regarding the framework of the organisation’s mission, developing a clear vision.
Be realistic with goals and tasks as well as expectations
Set an excellent personal example for others to follow
Authorise staff to make the vision a reality and support them
Focus on team behaviour with positive expectations

These are but a few small areas to build upon. There are other tools and exercises Coaching to Success can help you or members of your team to develop with the end goal of being so much more productive resulting not only in more profitability but a happier workplace where growth simply escalates.

Contact Neil to arrange your free consultation either by email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or calling 07761 187238 and let’s work together to create the ideology of excellence in leadership and the rewards that this will bring.

Jul 21 2014

“Ready, Steady, G… Hang on, before I do, maybe if…”

How many times have I historically set about doing something then haven’t due to those voices in my head telling me otherwise (these are different from those other voices in horror films … but then again!), well, it’s a rhetorical question but how many times have you considered

Changing your job/career
Writing that report you know will be a massive task … but I’ll just clear my desk first
Needing immediate gratification” – Procrastination loves this as it gives you an excuse to do something more interesting.
“I could do with some help on this”. You end up waiting until somebody else takes over. Some do this their whole lives.
Wait on something else – “I can’t complete this report until John gives me the figures” (Guilty! Rather than go get them, I’ve used this excuse)
Be passive, wait for fate or circumstance to rescue you from having to act.

Then there’s the factors that cause us to cease moving forward:

“I don’t have anyone to go to for advice, support or encouragement.”
“I didn’t know I was supposed to do that.” (Ignorance)
“What if I fail?”, then again, “What if I succeed?”
“No one really cares whether I do this or not.” (Apathy)
“It’s too risky. In this economy I can’t take the chance to…”
“This other opportunity will never come again, I can’t pass it up.” (Delay tactic)
“I’m too old. I wish I had thought about this 20 years ago.”
“I don’t know how to do it.” (Skill Deficiency)
“I just can’t seem to get started (Inertia)

This is a definite mix of both areas where confidence is lacking and procrastination, which comes in many guises, and is the mother of all temptresses to take us away from the tasks we really do need to do.

So how do we beat these? Consider these to give some focus:

Learn what you’re good at – Recognise your skill-set and build confidence through competence. Ask work colleagues what they see as your strengths.
Play ‘Follow the leader’ – Look at those who have gone before you, gain confidence from what they have achieved
Evidence! – One of my favourites. Work from hard facts of what you have achieved as opposed to what you think will happen. Positive affirmations every time.
“What exactly am I supposed to do?” – Gain clarity
“Why have I been given this?” – Establish the facts
“How does this fit into the big picture?” – Relevance of ideas
“How it will be measured” – Give it worth and value for the time put in
“How will my efforts affect the work of others?” – Responsibility.

If you or members of your team wish to move forward, we’re here to help. Simply call to arrange your free consultation and see how you can help make those changes! Neil looks forward to hearing from you either by calling 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk. We’re affiliated to the Growth Accelerator scheme, so some businesses can obtain government funding too!

Jul 07 2014

Critical Success Factors … Have you looked into creating yours?

John F. Rockart popularised Critical Success Factors (CSFs) during the 1970s and they’ve been used broadly in businesses since then.

Having a clear and focused mission/vision statement is imperative. Something the whole company are involved with. To compliment this, objectives and goals need to be in situ and this is where our core skillsets lie.
I was never really a believer in ‘Mission Statements’ as I felt they were simply the words of my Bosses. Unfortunately, at the time, that’s all they were as I had no input or education as to what it stood for. Having worked with many organisations to achieve their own with the Team’s input, I can now see the true benefit.

This ‘Statement’ will, in turn, help all to bond towards CSFs as you have created a common focal point. As Rockart determined, CSFs aren’t a one hit wonder but need constantly and careful attention for success to become apparent.

Now going back to the goals and mission statements, these are where the focus should be as to WHAT needs to be achieved. CSFs refer to the HOW and to identify what really matters to obtain success and the measurements you put into place to observe this.

Often we can’t see the wood for the trees so let’s use a Timber Merchant as an ironic example and take a fictitious statement “To uphold a customer satisfaction level of 93% while expanding an increased product range appealing to new clients all resulting in a 38% of regional market share”.

You then look to what the (a) objectives are in view of this statement and then the HOW, the (b) Critical Success Factors. So to continue:

(a) Uphold Satisfaction levels of 93% …

(b) Keep customers informed of latest products. Insure staff are fully trained and updated via manufacture visits on latest tools.

(a) Expand product range…

(b) Welcome new reps/organisations to see what they have to offer. Look at market trends. Ask staff for their input.

(a) Achieve 38% market share…

(b) Marketing and advertising to attract more clients. Look to become more competitive.

From initially creating your objectives and CSFs, keep this as a basis to work from but then hone in the essential ones, the ‘C’ part!

Whatever you do, don’t create a long list of CSFs as they will simply get lost within their own numbers. 5 or fewer ‘Essential’ ones are ideal to focus on.

In summary

Formulate a company Mission/Vision statement
Create an objective list to achieve the goal and then the HOW (the CSFs themselves)
Hone down – make sure your CSFs are manageable, achievable and realistic
Constantly visit, re-visit and re-re-visit to evaluate and monitor how things are progressing (or
not) then re-enforce the CSFs
Communicate how it’s going. Include staff, suppliers etc

Give it a go and should you wish to look at creating a fantastic Mission Statement or the means to put this into place long term, we’re here to help and as we’re affiliated to the Growth Accelerator scheme, we understand about success. Simply call to arrange your free consultation and see how you can help make those changes! Neil looks forward to hearing from you either by calling 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk

Jun 23 2014

Quick check list on your stress levels

With the sun shining, all cares disappear don’t they?

Well, with the exception of the expense of additional child minding, taking time out for holidays, the
cost and where to go. Work itself quietens down as everyone’s on holiday and this is just one line of thought contributing to stress.

During 2011/12, there were 428k (40%) of a total 1.073m work related absences due to stress being the cause. This proves palming it off by saying “Oh, they’re just stressed at the moment” isn’t the simple solution.

What are some symptoms of stress?

Physical changes – ‘Fight or Flight’ as noradrenaline and adrenaline endorphins rampage through your body raising blood pressure and levels of perspiration. Cortisol releases sugar and fat into your system and your immune system reduces in effectiveness!

If your environment means you’re stuck in one location, you can neither fight nor leg it so your body is constantly struggling with no release.

Emotional changes – When stressed, different feelings arise, including depression, frustration, anxiety, fear or anger. Often feeding each other with further consequent results in physical changes! Typical signs of both changes can include shortness of breath, indigestion or palpitations. Long term this can even lead to heart attack or stroke!

Behavioural changes – Listen to those around you when they comment on how you have changed. Stress can often make us behave uncharacteristically. When I went through a bout of stress, I became withdrawn, angry and restless nights were in abundance!

So what can we do when these symptoms start? Call on the doctor for a handful of pills? Possibly, but why not look at the following before heading the NHS route.

Manage your time – keep and work to scheduled to-do lists. If you can’t fit that additional workload in, delegate, re-jiggle your schedule whatever it takes. There’s still only 24hrs in one day so plan it and know your limitations.
Keep a diary – Understand what’s creating these feelings. When feeling stressed, write it down. Identify what you believe to be the cause and fathom out ‘why’ it stresses you.
Avoid multitasking – This can be as simple as setting times when you will check your emails rather than as they come through. Learn to say ‘NO’ when called upon to do additional tasks.
Support – Look to friends, family, work colleagues or business coach for support. Don’t just dump, resolve the situation by discussing a better way through it.
Exercise and rest – Take up exercise! I’ve practised martial arts for 30+ years and recently taken up yoga (much harder than I thought!). Sleep is equally as important to re-energise those batteries too.
Meditation – Taking time out and away from the situation can be the first step. Spend five minutes deep breathing, eyes closed, releasing all thoughts is another tool I’ve been taught in both my activities that works!

These are just a few tools that Coaching to Success use to help people and teams through periods of stress. A coach will help you understand better what the cause of the pain is that is being suffered and, together, can help establish a path to forge forward and create a positive, stress free WorkSlump situation that gives clarity and improved productivity too.

If this is an area you feel you or members of your team would benefit from, take that first step to relieve stress by speaking with Neil (07761 187238) or throw him an email at info@coachingtosuccess.co.uk… We’re affiliated to the Growth Accelerator scheme and are here to help.