Coaching to Success

Our business is your success

Neil Nutburn

Let’s look at challenging beliefs that hold you back…

Sometimes our belief in being able to perform a certain task or achieve an objective can be influenced either negatively or positively. For those with a self-belief, the chances of obtaining that outcome is greatly increased, however, situations throughout our lives can have a massive bearing on us.

 

As an adolescent, I was told I would have to do an office job, that I would be unable to take up sport seriously, that I would be unable to do manual work! Why? Because I have type1 diabetes.

As I progressed towards the end of my teens, I began to question this ‘sound advice’ from those more knowledgeable (apparently) and took up martial arts by means of doing some exercise … and this is where I found that good advice was unfounded!

I trained hard. Minimum 3 times a week. Sessions lasting in excess of 2.5hrs and when I achieved Black Belt, trained harder still to maintain that level and I still train now (but maybe not to the same degree!).

So what has this got to do with this feature? My beliefs were being moulded by THEIR beliefs in MY capabilities. So I challenged and created my OWN beliefs and that was that having Diabetes would not stop me from being active!

Find out how negative and positive external influences have on you by carrying out some interesting exercises.

FIRST – Create 2 lists. The first being all the positive beliefs you have about yourself. The second with any negative.

SECOND – Look at every item in each category. Spend some time assessing and writing down the positive and negative things that have happened to create these beliefs.

THIRD – Take the top three ‘Negative’ beliefs and ask yourself

  1. Where did this belief originate?
  2. What effect is this belief having on me?
  3. What will the long term consequence be to remain holding onto it?
  4. Who provided me this belief?
  5. Is this person always right? Do you respect them?
  6. How would life be if you were to let go of it?

FORTH – Re-write the negative belief as a positive affirmation. (eg: “I am too old to change my job” to “The knowledge and expertise I will bring to a new employer can only be gained from the wealth of knowledge learned”

FIFTH – Focus your attention on 3-5 people who appear a positive influence on you and another 3-5 negative ones. Ask yourself these questions about each in their outlook:

  • What do they say and how do they relay it?
  • What actions portray them as positive?

SIXTH – What ‘Empowering’ beliefs do people hold? Make a list.

SEVENTH – What ‘Dis-empowering’ beliefs do people hold? Make a list.

EIGHTH – Create 6 sentences all beginning “I can’t..”

NINTH – Against each, ask yourself “What’s stopping me?”

TENTH – Against each, compile a list of things you can do to turn this into positive actions.

All too often our progress is hindered by our own negative beliefs. Those that know me will be familiar with my phrase “Evidence based” meaning that just because we believe in something, it doesn’t mean it’s a fact. Look at the evidence.

THINK positive. BE positive.

At Coaching to Success, we truly believe (and it’s evidence based) that our clients are capable of more than they think they can achieve so if you’re looking to move forward and break some of those beliefs that hold you back, contact Neil either by mail at neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or direct via phone 07761 187238. Our business is Your success, let us help you move on re-affirmed positive beliefs.

Is confidence natural or developed?

Is confidence about being born with the right gene or is it cultivated?

Confidence emerges from accomplishment with a belief in one’s capabilities, so is really nurture over nature and depending on how we develop, our confidence levels will be affected. It is also related to the symptoms of feelings when dealing with challenges whether personal or work related.

It’s also about judgement of how you feel others perceive you. This is not to say that you shouldn’t give a …., but more about not allowing other’s views effecting your own judgement about yourself.

As an example, I was with a client before Christmas in a high street coffee shop. We discussed confidence levels talking with regards speaking to strangers and if in a group of unknowns, how they felt. After they expressed their thoughts, I wished to prove a point about how we shouldn’t be fearful of what others may think of us. So, to demonstrate this, I stood up in the middle of a busy shop and asked for everyone’s attention, then simply wished them a Happy Christmas and a fantastic weekend, then sat down.

I daresay this caused conversations in the shop and well beyond but it proved a point that nothing negative happened to me and that I couldn’t control others views of me of which there would be a variety of, so best to let those thoughts go.

But how do we look about boosting our own levels? There are generally 9 exercises but here are 6 to help you on your way:

  1. BREATHE: When you are nervous or preparing for a big event, breathe evenly until you calm down.
  2. GET A NOTEBOOK: Record the good things that you manage to do. Whenever self-doubt creeps in, or you feel down, open this notebook and start reading it.
  3. BODY LANGUAGE: When feeling low, look at your posture. Change it to look up and forward with your back straight, keep your head high.
  4. SET GOALS: If you do not have goals in your life then you do not know where you are going. Set goals in every area of your life. Set goals that are very clear and have a certain deadline on them.
  5. COMPLIMENT YOURSELF: Talk about the great things you did in the past, this week, today. Say things like: “I am truly amazing! Just to think of how fast I solved that problem!”, “Wow, Fred came to me to help him as he knew I could help and I did”
  6. EXERCISE AT WORK: Notice the things that you do better than others. Find these things, then, admit to yourself that you accomplish these better than others, commit to becoming even better on it. Read books, talk to people in the know, become an expert.

There are many ways we can help boost the confidence levels but these are some good starters to kick off with.

Whether they be areas of personal or work related issues around confidence, contact Neil for a coffee meet (I promise I’ll try to refrain from standing on the table!) either by mail at neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or direct via phone 07761 187238. Our business is Your success, let us help you grow in confidence to reach up to your own personal goals of achievement.

Decision making made easier…

I was with a client the other day when they commented on the difficulty of making well-considered decisions. Now he is more than capable of making decisions but the fact that, much as most of us in today’s hectic lifestyle, making clear decisions can sometimes be difficult due to the constant demands and distractions we are all regularly subjected to.

I then began to think about how fast-paced the world has become and how decisions, right or wrong, are made more on a whim, based on little structure or evidence due to our time constraints.

I often see people spending a fair amount of time re-visiting tasks as interruptions have distracted them. This in turn brings up other topics such as Procrastination and Time-management but we’ll leave those for another day.

At the moment, we are looking at decision making! How do we gain clarity over making judged and worthy decisions? I use a tool called the ‘Cartesian Quadrant’ and the eventual outcome is as a result of 4 well-considered factors to create a satisfactory result.

To begin, grab a clear sheet of A4 paper. Allowing enough room to write along the top and down one side, draw a large box and then lines central top to bottom and central left to right to create a 2×2 matrix.

Top left box is No.1, Top right is No.2, Bottom left No.3 and finally bottom right is No.4

Now for the titles and these will depend on what the decision you’re attempting to come to. However, the principle remains the same, just the wording differs.

To explain, let’s look at a couple of situations. One may be to do with a result from your own personal action, therefore the result will be “What will happen if I do make the change” (#I), whereas another may be to do with a work promotion, therefore “What will be the outcome if we do proceed with this promotion”. Now to make this more apparent…

Along the top, using the above ideas, on the left write “If I DO make the change” on the right, “If I DON’T make the change”. Along the side, level with the top box write “What WILL happen” and underneath, “What WON’T happen”

So each box now raises these questions

No.1 “What WILL happen If I DO make the change”

No.2  “What WON’T happen If I DO make the change”

No.3  “What WILL happen If I DON’T make the change”

No.4  “What WON’T happen If I DON’T make the change”

Simply write your thoughts in each category. Should you be interrupted, you’ll be able to return and focus on each element until you have satisfied all options. As a guide, approach each one with a different outlook. Ie, how will it affect you personally? How will your thoughts be effected from a work, client or friend’s perspective?

Clarity is the key and until you have assessed each area, judgement may be slightly biased. If this is what you wanted, you at least can view what the argument could be and already be armed with your reply!

Coaching to success is all about the ‘Clarity’ and in the melee of rapid business highways where it sometimes appears we don’t have time to scratch our proverbial and this is where we help first help find the time and then to focus on actins to achieve what wouldn’t be perceived as possible before. We have such belief in this, we will credit any person or organisation for the coaching should they not deem it to be a worthwhile return on investment.

If you’re open to take on the challenge, contact Neil either by mail at neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or direct via phone 07761 187238. Our business is Your success, let us help you gain that clarity to succeed in the next level

5 steps towards making that decision…

In the past, as I progressed through the ranks of corporate management there were important decisions to be made of which I really didn’t know where or how to start but, in the end, I got there.

You know what it’s like, you make correct decisions, woohoo, everything pops up with that wonderful fragrance of roses. However, when it goes wrong, all you can smell is that stuff you put around the base of them!

So surely it’s imperative that we offer some mindful consideration that isn’t blinded entirely by emotional outcome? Knowing others undergo these same pressures, I felt I’d share my learnings and the several steps I developed to aid that final decision:

  1. The Gathering – (Nothing to do with Sean Connery/Christopher Lambert in Highlander for those fans out there!) Is all about the information. What do you need? Write these down so they’re not scrambling for positioning or confusing your thought process. Look within yourself as well as factual or logical sources. Are you comfortable with the potential outcome and have you the skill-set to manage it.
  2. What else? – As you gather your data and information, be sure not to become blinded by a singular path to find the answer. By this, I mean that we often will find alternative ways of doing the thing we seek. Listen to other suggestions openly and add them as possibilities to your list.
  3. Get the scales out! – All areas of decision can be measured and these values weighed. Try creating a pros and cons list such that you rate each item by a score of up to 10.Write a split list of pros on one side and cons the other. Try not to be biased but look at each item independently. Weight it according to your chosen criteria. Now bring the emotional elements on how it will affect you with the practical, logical or financial ones. Tot up all the scores to see which comes out strongest.
  4. Bite the bullet, make the decision – How often do we jump the gun and make a rash decision that doesn’t work out as hoped? From this, we may assume other decisions will end similarly. However, using the above, your decisions will be calculated rather than random!
  5. Take action – Create a timeline, a plan with dates and order. This is your measure to insure that your decision is correct. As part of this sequence, set in review dates or times to asses and make sure that your decision is still the correct one. If it’s a purchase, allow time before making it, checking there are no other unconsidered areas. Creating a deadline adds a healthy element of pressure (but don’t allow it to seep into stress!)

These are an informal way of introducing ways to help decision making. Coaching to Success utilise these and other tools to help you with the process. Good luck and here’s to positive outcomes through processed decision making.

Along with other areas of making positive change, we invite you contact Neil Nutburn on 07761 187238 or email to info@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to arrange a free, no obligation consultation to discuss areas we can help you prosper. Coaching to Success work to a simple philosophy in as much as that, if you don’t feel the benefits match your return on investment, the coaching session will be credited in full… That’s how strong ‘we’ believe in what ‘you’ are capable of doing!

 

Let’s gain clarity over what needs to be achieved

The days are longer and the weather’s on a positive turn which is all great … then the to-do lists start: Spring cleaning, the gardening, new ideas need to be put into place for business growth and the easiest solution? Find something else to do!

It happens to the best of us. All those tasks we should focus on completing, yet, we come up with a variety of excuses for why it can’t be started. This wonderful creature called ‘Procrastination’ eats away at our levels of personal productivity. Causing us to feel guilty, reduce motivation and lead to lower levels of efficiency!

For example, how many times do you re-read emails and think “I’ll deal with that shortly”? Postpone high level tasks? Uncertain whether the output will be up to perceived expectations so put it off until in a better frame of mind or even adopt a ‘Last-minute’ approach?

I’m as guilty as the next person especially in areas I’m not initially sure about or not interested in doing but are still important (ie Accounts, shudder with the thought!). But the benefits from getting on and completing far outweigh the mental anguish received by avoiding them.

Sometimes the most obvious way is the correct way. We must make ourselves aware of what they are rather than knowing they are just around ‘that’ corner so we subconsciously travel a different route! So here are my 7 triggers that lead us to avoidance and considerations to address them:

  1. Appear pointless or boring – Look to schedule these tasks when at your LEAST creative moment in the day. Yep, that’s right. Treat these as a relief from the more demanding work. By scheduling a start and end date you know there is an end point so are likely to achieve your objective.
  2. Not sure how to proceed – Write down all the options you are aware of. Find someone to take their view on it which could offer a different perspective.
  3. Appear overwhelming – Look to break assignments down, change your self-talk, give up perfection! Remember to reward yourself.
  4. Afraid of failure – Banish negative thoughts. Embrace uncertainty, see this as an exciting challenge. Take calculated risks as without them, we cannot move forward. Confront your fears with positive actions, once that first step is taken the whole task becomes easier.

So what of the remaining 3? These are deeper to the core and along with the implications they could bring, can best be resolved by having one-to-one meetings with a professional coach as these affect the subconscious.

  1. Afraid of success
  2. Resent being given the task
  3. Possibility of confrontation

Addressing the initial four areas will help you to become more efficient and improve awareness of what causes your procrastination. Should you have already achieved your objectives in these areas and would like to explore the latter, simply contact Neil to arrange a meeting.

Coaching to Success pride themselves on successfully helping their clients to achieve their goals or targets. Our confidence is such that should our clients feel that they have not received an exceptional return on their investment, we simply credit the charge in full so no one loses!

So to move forward in the quagmire of procrastination, do a useful side track and contact Neil either by mail at neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or direct via phone at 07761 187238. Our business is Your success, let us help you reach those higher goals.