Coaching to Success

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Quick check list on your stress levels

With the sun shining, all cares disappear don’t they?

Well, with the exception of the expense of additional child minding, taking time out for holidays, the
cost and where to go. Work itself quietens down as everyone’s on holiday and this is just one line of thought contributing to stress.

During 2011/12, there were 428k (40%) of a total 1.073m work related absences due to stress being the cause. This proves palming it off by saying “Oh, they’re just stressed at the moment” isn’t the simple solution.

What are some symptoms of stress?

Physical changes – ‘Fight or Flight’ as noradrenaline and adrenaline endorphins rampage through your body raising blood pressure and levels of perspiration. Cortisol releases sugar and fat into your system and your immune system reduces in effectiveness!

If your environment means you’re stuck in one location, you can neither fight nor leg it so your body is constantly struggling with no release.

Emotional changes – When stressed, different feelings arise, including depression, frustration, anxiety, fear or anger. Often feeding each other with further consequent results in physical changes! Typical signs of both changes can include shortness of breath, indigestion or palpitations. Long term this can even lead to heart attack or stroke!

Behavioural changes – Listen to those around you when they comment on how you have changed. Stress can often make us behave uncharacteristically. When I went through a bout of stress, I became withdrawn, angry and restless nights were in abundance!

So what can we do when these symptoms start? Call on the doctor for a handful of pills? Possibly, but why not look at the following before heading the NHS route.

  • Manage your time – keep and work to scheduled to-do lists. If you can’t fit that additional workload in, delegate, re-jiggle your schedule whatever it takes. There’s still only 24hrs in one day so plan it and know your limitations.
  • Keep a diary – Understand what’s creating these feelings. When feeling stressed, write it down. Identify what you believe to be the cause and fathom out ‘why’ it stresses you.
  • Avoid multitasking – This can be as simple as setting times when you will check your emails rather than as they come through. Learn to say ‘NO’ when called upon to do additional tasks.
  • Support – Look to friends, family, work colleagues or business coach for support. Don’t just dump, resolve the situation by discussing a better way through it.
  • Exercise and rest – Take up exercise! I’ve practised martial arts for 30+ years and recently taken up yoga (much harder than I thought!). Sleep is equally as important to re-energise those batteries too.
  • Meditation – Taking time out and away from the situation can be the first step. Spend five minutes deep breathing, eyes closed, releasing all thoughts is another tool I’ve been taught in both my activities that works!

These are just a few tools that Coaching to Success use to help people and teams through periods of stress. A coach will help you understand better what the cause of the pain is that is being suffered and, together, can help establish a path to forge forward and create a positive, stress free WorkSlumpsituation that gives clarity and improved productivity too.

If this is an area you feel you or members of your team would benefit from, take that first step to relieve stress by speaking with Neil (07761 187238) or throw him an email at info@coachingtosuccess.co.uk… We’re affiliated to the Growth Accelerator scheme and are here to help.

How to control conversation hogs.

An old proverb quotes “Empty vessels make the most noise”, meaning there’s that vocal one amongst us who always has to be heard but doesn’t really have much to contribute.

Now I’m not actually a great believer in targeting all people who speak out as not having substance. What I feel is that others who also have important contributions are supressed before bringing it forward fearing rebuttal from outspoken individuals.

So the answer shouldn’t be about gagging these individuals, after all, their opinions do count, more so the question should be about how do you make your point when others are determined that the stage is theirs alone?

Here are some methods that will help.

From the individuals perspective

  • Go into neutral… The most vocal people often react to feedback. Refrain from nodding or rolling your eyes. Give NO clue and let them go, I can assure you, without fuel, their point will burn out quickly as there’s no engagement.
  • Continue… When someone butts in, don’t stop. Simply continue as if they were sat there with Gaffa tape across their mouth! They will soon get the point.
  • Boring!!!… Regardless of how inconsiderate and blatantly rude the other person is, if your subject matter is boring, people will switch off. Whether work or social, don’t go straight into finite detail. Give an overview and if the other party wish to know more, tell them but at their invitation.
  • Tell them… Frustrating though it is, we often allow others to run away with the conversation. Once they see an opening, you’ve given them the opportunity. So rather than being rude in return, simply inform them “John, sorry, I hadn’t quite finished what I was saying”

From the group Leader

  • OpenForumIn group meetings, know who these strong characters are. Don’t supress their ideas but allow others to take to the stage first.
    • Start with those who will speak out but normally when addressed.
    • Then the quieter members, often the ‘thinkers’. Having a gem of an idea but don’t offer it for fear of being shouted down. They will likely follow the lead of some but will not speak out following more ‘assertive’ (or aggressive!) members.
    • FINALLY, offer the stage to the outspoken members. Throughout, control the conversation stopping these characters from railroading others!
    • Allow people to finish. Give them the floor up to the point they stop. When someone attempts to cut in, as the leader state “Hang on to that thought, I’ll get to you in a minute”, if they persist, be more forceful “Jane, let Mike finish. we will get to your point momentarily”

All too often, people’s passion takes over so courtesy and politeness go out of the window. Rather than treating this as an unacceptable behaviour or trying to shut someone up … change it!

Coaching to success see this behaviour all too being invited to act as arbitrators. If this is something you feel your organisation could benefit from, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to see what further ways we can help you and/or your business in getting the best from ALL contributors.

Procrastination – Two week remedy programme

I spent two days wondering what to write about, then it dawned on me, I was putting it off. So, with an element of irony, here’s how to avoid that dreaded procrastination.

Procrastination effects our inner peace, our calmness and not always consciously. How often do you feel fidgety and not totally relaxed when you know there are tasks to be done, especially ones you don’t enjoy?

It affects us all in some way, so here are 10 tips to help take back control from procrastination.

  1. Clear your work place – A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind. Piles of paper, post it notes etc. distract and stop you from focusing on the job in hand. Only keep what you’re working on in front of you, file the rest or create to-do trays.
  2. Set Goals – Set realistic goals but break the Big picture down. Set smaller, achievable goals with realistic timelines.
  3. Rewards – I once had a client who bought himself an iPad when he achieved his overall goa. I like to treat myself to a really nice cup of coffee and chill for half hour to enjoy both it and my accomplishment. Doesn’t need to be big but reward yourself. Scale it according to the level of success.
  4. Learn new skills – How will that help? By learning to achieve the next level of competency, such as dancing, rock climbing, photography etc, helps you look to the next level of aspiration. I started karate some 30yrs ago and this helped me through my whole career (not necessarily the way that you may be thinking!)
  5. Negative inner voices – When self-doubt creeps in, put it in its place. Start listing the ‘positive’ reasons that things WILL work and listen to this voice instead.
  6. Playing the victim – Stop glorifying how you’re the victim of circumstances. Stand tall and leave what’s happened behind. Be proud of what you can accomplish and when your inner ‘victim’ raises its head, tell it who’s boss.
  7. Prioritise – Evaluate and if it’s important enough for you to do, you’ll find a way. If we don’t care, we’ll keep putting it off. Go through your tasks and prioritise them, starting with the most important.
  8. Delegate – Others can actually do some of those tasks better than you! Let the reins go and give someone else the chance, who knows, they could very well enjoy those tasks that you don’t.
  9. Accountability companion – Chose a person, a supervisor, a junior, a spouse or friend. Tell them you’ve committed to a task with a specific time-frame and ask them to hold you accountable. Human nature compels us to act if we know others are watching!
  10. New Habits – take all of the aforementioned and set about creating some new habits on how you will overcome procrastination. Definition of habit: “Settled tendency or practice”. Be positive, be proactive and be aware.

Taking on one step each day (see 3) you should master the skills of overcoming procrastination is just 2 weeks. If you get stuck with any aspects along the way, contact Neil via phone on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to beat the beast that is procrastination. Good luck

Mood Swings!!! Could be stress… mine was

A few months ago, friends became aware of my changing mood swings and this got me wondering, was I was suffering depression? My heart goes out to those who do as I am aware how lonely a place that can be for you but something niggled me that this wasn’t it.

Having had a chat with my coach to assess my situation concerning work and what was happening around me, Stress appeared to be the main culprit. How stupid was I that I didn’t see it, after all, I see it in others and help them but I couldn’t see it in myself. Stress is different for everyone but here are a few signals to look out for and how to deal with them.

Some common signals: Social withdrawal/isolation. Excessive sleeping or insomnia. Feelings of being overwhelmed. Difficulty in concentrating. Heartburn, stomach pain, or nausea. Frequent headaches. And the one that got me… Irritability and angry episodes.

Recognise any of these traits in yourself or others? Don’t be too judgemental, stress could well be the cause.

As situations occur, we make unconscious conclusions pertaining to ‘fight’ or ‘flight’. We assess if it threatens our values, reputation, how it affects our time or even social standing. We look inwards as to how we can handle them and whether we have the means to deal them. Such as knowledge, time, emotional proficiencies!

Control levels then step in which determine how stressed we become regarding how well we can face the threat. This leads to how we work and deal with other people.

So how do we deal with it? Awareness is the first thing and then what to do with that awareness? Here are three approaches that can help according to your way of thinking.

EMOTION ORIENTATED

Consider the way you perceive the situation. In coaching we say that you have control over how things make you feel and this is true… but it does take practice to look at things objectively and when stress is building, it can seem an impossible task. Look to explore:

  • Thought awareness – looking within and becoming aware of how situations make you feel
  • Positive mind-set – Create affirmations and seek the positives.

ACTION ORIENTATED

Take one situation, take action to change it!

  • People –Take control and learn how to say ‘No’ when consistently being called upon to do things. Know what your boundaries or limitations are. Develop an assertive (not aggressive) disposition.
  • Time Management –How do you manage what you do in the time you have! A major cause for stress. Create ‘Scheduled’ to-do lists. Turn off email notification warnings. Avoid multitasking.
  • Environment – Cluttered work space, climate conditions, Uncomfortable working conditions, Poor lighting, and even noise pollution. Become aware of these and change what you can.

ACCEPTANCE ORIENTATION

Unlike the other two, this area concentrates on building your own resilience where you are powerless to change the situation. See what may apply to you.

  • Down Time – Get away from it all as this helps you break away from the situation to return with a fresh outlook. Get some exercise and enough sleep.
  • Change management – we are creatures of habit and don’t always enjoy change. Learn how to accept or cope with change.
  • Networks – We know of business networks but consider friends and family as a ‘support’ network. Look at other professions such as consultants as well as coaches to help you see the wood in that forest!
  • Physical relaxation – We use an audio tool for self-meditation to relax the mind and body. There are techniques such as PMR (Progressive Muscle Relaxation) and even I’m about to take up Yoga!

This is just by means of an over-view. Each component is a topic in its own right and this article is really about helping you obtain some clarity as to what further avenues to explore.

Coaching to Success have helped many people to understand what is causing them stress, then create a programme to get over the obstacle, so we invite you to contact our author, Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to set up a free initial conversation to discuss areas on how to reduce stress for you or those close to you.

Management vs Motivation

For this article, I thought I would look at how Management can complement but also deter motivation and bring to your attention some key areas to consider.

I’ve combined Douglas McGregor theory on human motivation which describes two contrasting models of workforce motivation and Extrinsic/Intrinsic motivators.

To start, looking at McGeror’s theory. Simple in its delivery but look how it illustrates two opposing sets of assumptions underlining management policies and practices, can you see these within your own workplace:

Theory ‘X’ naturally exhibit:

  1. Inherent dislike of work
  2. Lack of ambition
  3. Prefer to be directed
  4. Avoid responsibility

Coercion, direction, punishment, monetary rewards needed to meet objectives

Theory ‘X’ managers typically use:

  1. Time-keeping and close supervision
  2. 3rd party quality control (Gets another person to check your work rather than allowing you to check it yourself)
  3. Narrowly-defined jobs & precise, legalistic job descriptions

I find such managers may be autocratic, judgmental & over-bearing, and essentially ‘Controlling’. Companies/organisations with such assumptions are likely to be rigid and unresponsive to customer needs.

Theory ‘Y’ naturally exhibit:

  1. Self-direction in serving objectives to which they are committed
  2. Rewards associated with achievement
  3. Accept and seek responsibility
  4. Creativity, imagination and ingenuity
  5. Intellectual capabilities are generally only partly utilised.

Theory ‘Y’ managers typically:

  1. Affirm people, exhibit trust
  2. Create conditions where individuals can achieve satisfaction while directing efforts to the achievement of organisational objectives.
  3. Provide employees with scope to use talents & creativity
  4. Believe in participation not prescription

Companies with such assumptions about people are more likely to be flexible in facing a changing world.

EXTRINSIC & INTRINSIC MOTIVATORS

Money helps attract and retain good people but consider this for yourself, is it enough to keep people motivated. Research shows these are the most important motivators.

  1. Full appreciation of work done
  2. Feeling of being involved / knowing what’s going on
  3. Job security
  4. High salary
  5. Interesting work

EXTRINSIC

  • Cash, material benefits, holidays
  • Security
  • Working conditions
  • Career development                                                           

INTRINSIC (*)

  • Sense of purpose & achievement
  • Autonomy
  • Sense of knowing what’s going on
  • Feeling of job competence

(*) Team leaders need to concentrate on this area

CREATING A MOTIVATING WORK ENVIRONMENT

  1. Set challenging targets
  2. Fully inform your team about decisions
  3. Involve more people in planning & innovation
  4. Delegate effectively
  5. Give responsibility for achievement
  6. Clear linkage between effort and reward
  7. Recognise achievements

My belief is taking theory ‘Y’ and combining with the motivators makes not only for a happy working environment but a much more productive one.

Coaching to Success looks at the way you or your team(s) manages the business and then help you to find the best way forward for all concerned.

Aristotle quoted “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts” so we give you the means to make your company/firm better than your competition, all you have to do is take the first step by contacting Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to set up a free initial conversation to discuss areas you care to improve – take a step into Theory Y!