Coaching to Success

Our business is your success

Confidence

5 things to consider when attempting that all important decision

Historically I’ve had to make decisions and kept looking at the options without really knowing what the blazes to do. Instead of gaining clarity, the more I looked, the more frustrated I became!

Knowing I’m not alone on this, today’s article is based on how to put some steps into action to aid that final decision, so here goes.

You know what it’s like, you make correct decisions, woohoo, everything pops up with that wonderful fragrance of roses. However, when it goes wrong, all you can smell is that stuff you put around the base of them! So surely it’s imperative that we offer some mindful consideration that isn’t blinded entirely by emotional outcome.

Here’s Coaching to Success’ hit-list of things you should do to take steps in achieving the required goal.

  1. The Gathering – I’m not reminiscing about Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert in Highlander but talking about information! Look within yourself as well as factual or logical sources. Are you comfortable with the potential outcome and have you the skill-set to manage it. What information do you need? Write these down so they’re not scrambling for positioning or confusing your thought process.
  1. What else? – As you gather your data and information, be sure not to become blinded by a singular path to find the answer! By this, I mean that we often will find alternative ways of doing the thing we seek. Keep these and add them as possibilities to your list.
  1. Get the scales out! – All areas of decision can be measured and these values weighed. For example, create a pros and cons list such that you rate each item by a score of up to 10.Write a split list of pros on one side and cons the other. Try not to be biased but look at each item independently and weight it according to your chosen criteria. Now bring the emotional elements on how it will affect you with the practical, logical or financial ones. Tot up all the scores to see which comes out strongest.
  1. Bite the bullet, make the decision – How often do we jump the gun (there’s a theme here!) and make a rash decision that doesn’t work out as hoped? From this, we assume other decisions will end in similar outcomes, however, using the above, your decisions won’t be so random but rather calculated!
  1. Take action – Create a timeline, a plan with dates and order. This is your measure to insure that your decision is correct. As part of this sequence, set in review dates or times to asses and make sure that your decision is still the correct one. If it’s a purchase, allow time before making it, checking there are no other unconsidered areas.

These are but an informal way of introducing ways to help decision
making. Coaching to Success utilise these and other tools to help you with the process. Al
ong with other areas of making positive change, we invite you contact Neil Nutburn on 07761 187238 or email to info@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to arrange a free, no obligation consultation to discuss
areas we can help you prosper.

Our business is about your success and your future successes are in your hands so give us a call so we can help you turn the ideas into reality.

“Ready, Steady, G… Hang on, before I do, maybe if…”

How many times have I historically set about doing something then haven’t due to those voices in my head telling me otherwise (these are different from those other voices in horror films … but then again!), well, it’s a rhetorical question but how many times have you considered

  • Changing your job/career
  • Writing that report you know will be a massive task … but I’ll just clear my desk first
  • Needing immediate gratification” – Procrastination loves this as it gives you an excuse to do something more interesting.
  • “I could do with some help on this”. You end up waiting until somebody else takes over. Some do this their whole lives.
  • Wait on something else – “I can’t complete this report until John gives me the figures” (Guilty! Rather than go get them, I’ve used this excuse)
  • Be passive, wait for fate or circumstance to rescue you from having to act.

 

Then there’s the factors that cause us to cease moving forward:

  • “I don’t have anyone to go to for advice, support or encouragement.”
  • “I didn’t know I was supposed to do that.” (Ignorance)
  • “What if I fail?”, then again, “What if I succeed?”
  • “No one really cares whether I do this or not.” (Apathy)
  • “It’s too risky. In this economy I can’t take the chance to…”
  • “This other opportunity will never come again, I can’t pass it up.” (Delay tactic)
  • “I’m too old. I wish I had thought about this 20 years ago.”
  • “I don’t know how to do it.” (Skill Deficiency)
  • “I just can’t seem to get started (Inertia)

This is a definite mix of both areas where confidence is lacking and procrastination, which comes in many guises, and is the mother of all temptresses to take us away from the tasks we really do need to do.

So how do we beat these? Consider these to give some focus:

  • Learn what you’re good at – Recognise your skill-set and build confidence through competence. Ask work colleagues what they see as your strengths.
  • Play ‘Follow the leader’ – Look at those who have gone before you, gain confidence from what they have achieved
  • Evidence! – One of my favourites. Work from hard facts of what you have achieved as opposed to what you think will happen. Positive affirmations every time.
  • “What exactly am I supposed to do?” – Gain clarity
  • “Why have I been given this?” – Establish the facts
  • “How does this fit into the big picture?” – Relevance of ideas
  • “How it will be measured” – Give it worth and value for the time put in
  • “How will my efforts affect the work of others?” – Responsibility.

If you or members of your team wish to move forward, we’re here to help. Simply call to arrange your free consultation and see how you can help make those changes! Neil looks forward to hearing from you either by calling 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk. We’re affiliated to the Growth Accelerator scheme, so some businesses can obtain government funding too!

How to control conversation hogs.

An old proverb quotes “Empty vessels make the most noise”, meaning there’s that vocal one amongst us who always has to be heard but doesn’t really have much to contribute.

Now I’m not actually a great believer in targeting all people who speak out as not having substance. What I feel is that others who also have important contributions are supressed before bringing it forward fearing rebuttal from outspoken individuals.

So the answer shouldn’t be about gagging these individuals, after all, their opinions do count, more so the question should be about how do you make your point when others are determined that the stage is theirs alone?

Here are some methods that will help.

From the individuals perspective

  • Go into neutral… The most vocal people often react to feedback. Refrain from nodding or rolling your eyes. Give NO clue and let them go, I can assure you, without fuel, their point will burn out quickly as there’s no engagement.
  • Continue… When someone butts in, don’t stop. Simply continue as if they were sat there with Gaffa tape across their mouth! They will soon get the point.
  • Boring!!!… Regardless of how inconsiderate and blatantly rude the other person is, if your subject matter is boring, people will switch off. Whether work or social, don’t go straight into finite detail. Give an overview and if the other party wish to know more, tell them but at their invitation.
  • Tell them… Frustrating though it is, we often allow others to run away with the conversation. Once they see an opening, you’ve given them the opportunity. So rather than being rude in return, simply inform them “John, sorry, I hadn’t quite finished what I was saying”

From the group Leader

  • OpenForumIn group meetings, know who these strong characters are. Don’t supress their ideas but allow others to take to the stage first.
    • Start with those who will speak out but normally when addressed.
    • Then the quieter members, often the ‘thinkers’. Having a gem of an idea but don’t offer it for fear of being shouted down. They will likely follow the lead of some but will not speak out following more ‘assertive’ (or aggressive!) members.
    • FINALLY, offer the stage to the outspoken members. Throughout, control the conversation stopping these characters from railroading others!
    • Allow people to finish. Give them the floor up to the point they stop. When someone attempts to cut in, as the leader state “Hang on to that thought, I’ll get to you in a minute”, if they persist, be more forceful “Jane, let Mike finish. we will get to your point momentarily”

All too often, people’s passion takes over so courtesy and politeness go out of the window. Rather than treating this as an unacceptable behaviour or trying to shut someone up … change it!

Coaching to success see this behaviour all too being invited to act as arbitrators. If this is something you feel your organisation could benefit from, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to see what further ways we can help you and/or your business in getting the best from ALL contributors.

The art of Delegation, a 5 step process … have you mastered it?

I was reading an article on BBC’s website this morning, fascinated by a leading car manufacturer taking the next step of automated self-parking cars (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25815244) which then got me thinking of how you delegate a responsible task that could potentially result in a very expensive outcome if not done correctly.

1. Learn to Let Go – First and foremost, much like the car, you have to trust that it will work. How many times have you heard it said “If you need something done, it’s best to do it yourself”? … It’s a ‘Must’ to let this go.

Difficult to begin with, so start with singular, low priority tasks. Remember, it’s the end result that’s important, not necessarily the route someone takes. Who knows, they may even find a more efficient way!

With continued examples of success, your own confidence will grow and further more complex tasks can be delegated.

2. Invest Time – Effective delegation is a long-term process needing guidance and patience. Short-term, yes, it is quicker to do something yourself but this seriously puts the brakes on development of the business!

I was guilty of this myself as a director. Once I realised that spending a little time helping and training those around me, I soon found I could let things go.

Invest time in training and teaching others. This may appear painful but in the long-term, benefits of not just saving you time can be seen. People respond better when they feel they are trusted to accomplish a task.

3. Clear Instructions – As with the earlier car example, previously, the input to enable a car to park itself filled the boot with technology, now it fits above the wheel arch. With experience and responsibility, less time is required teaching or training the person(s) you’re delegating too but clarity is necessary throughout.

As with delegation, to begin, some tasks may need constant supervision. This is not to say you micro-manage but help and give motivation that the task is being performed correctly.

Clarity of objective and expectations must be set so the delegated person takes the responsibility and not just the task.

4. Empowerment – All too often I have seen things forgotten or distasteful tasks dumped on someone else to deal with. Thoughtful delegation empowers an employee to develop their own skill sets enhancing knowledge and abilities. They will eventually take over a task without you even getting involved, becoming independent and even more of an asset.

5. Downward Delegation – Carry out a time-audit on what you do over a week/month. Assess how you are spending your time on tasks not necessarily fitting of your position! I too got caught in the chains of progressing through the ranks to the position of director only to find that I was still doing the tasks of the junior manager.

Know what is necessary (both unlikeable and ‘likeable’ tasks!) for you to do and what can be delegated. Set about passing these on to someone else which starts to raise their levels of responsibility as well as freeing up your time.

Clarity is the key throughout the whole process. Successful managers know the importance of delegation and the strength this brings. Coaching to success knows how delegation works best and we can help your company/firm to achieving the best way forward creating a happy workforce as a consequential outcome.

This is only a brief overview so contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to set up a free, no obligation meeting or chat to see how you can benefit from the skill of delegation as part of ongoing development.

6 of 9 Confidence Building Exercises

Competence and confidence are so entwined and although ‘confidence’ comes by means of many different things that affect us, let’s just have a look at this in the context of our work.

I had a pretty tough time as a kid what with asthma and then boarding school etc, so when I returned home and set off to go to college, again, my confidence was hit as I knew no one there. Education/peer influences came from a school miles away, so, as a past-time I took up karate (of which I still participate in today) and this was the catalyst of change towards the confident person I am today.

Now I’m not suggesting we all go out and do martial arts but lessons I learnt along the way can be summarised in these key areas.

  1. BREATHE:  When you are nervous, don’t talk, but breathe until you calm down. This also works in cases where you are preparing for a big event and are stressed out.
  2. BODY LANGUAGE: The next time when you feel down, look at your posture. You are probably walking with a very bad posture. If so, change it right then: eyes forward, back straight, keep your head high.
  3. SET GOALS: If you do not have goals in your life then you do not know where you are going. Set goals insuring they are very clear and have a deadline on them. Put ‘priority’ numbers on all your goals because that is the best way your brain works.
  4. COMPLIMENT YOURSELF: Have you ever complimented yourself on a daily basis? If not, set about changing that. Say things like: “Wow, Neil came to me to help him as he knew I could help and I did”
  5. EXERCISE AT WORK: Start reading books on subjects that either you’re good at or interested in, talk to people that also have this capacity, become a real expert at it. Congratulate yourself from time to time about your particular ability and cherish it and don’t forget to also work on your physical activity, at least use a vibrating foam roller daily to get all the stress out of your body.
  6. THE MINDSET: Get into a CAN DO mind set.  Become a person that rarely says “I can’t do this” or “I’ll do it later”.  Use strong, motivating words like “I will do this”, “I am doing it”, “Sure”, “Yes”, “Of course I can”.

These are only 6 of a set of 9 I work from, if you would like the complete set, email and I will send the un-abridged version.

Whether for someone in your team or yourself, Coaching to Success looks to facilitate this growth in confidence, speak to someone who lives as he believes and contact me at neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or even build that confidence by picking up the phone and calling 07761 187238, where you’ll be assured a friendly and positive greeting.