Change

Nov 18 2013

6 of 9 Confidence Building Exercises

Competence and confidence are so entwined and although ‘confidence’ comes by means of many different things that affect us, let’s just have a look at this in the context of our work.

I had a pretty tough time as a kid what with asthma and then boarding school etc, so when I returned home and set off to go to college, again, my confidence was hit as I knew no one there. Education/peer influences came from a school miles away, so, as a past-time I took up karate (of which I still participate in today) and this was the catalyst of change towards the confident person I am today.

Now I’m not suggesting we all go out and do martial arts but lessons I learnt along the way can be summarised in these key areas.

BREATHE: When you are nervous, don’t talk, but breathe until you calm down. This also works in cases where you are preparing for a big event and are stressed out.
BODY LANGUAGE: The next time when you feel down, look at your posture. You are probably walking with a very bad posture. If so, change it right then: eyes forward, back straight, keep your head high.
SET GOALS: If you do not have goals in your life then you do not know where you are going. Set goals insuring they are very clear and have a deadline on them. Put ‘priority’ numbers on all your goals because that is the best way your brain works.
COMPLIMENT YOURSELF: Have you ever complimented yourself on a daily basis? If not, set about changing that. Say things like: “Wow, Neil came to me to help him as he knew I could help and I did”
EXERCISE AT WORK: Start reading books on subjects that either you’re good at or interested in, talk to people that also have this capacity, become a real expert at it. Congratulate yourself from time to time about your particular ability and cherish it and don’t forget to also work on your physical activity, at least use a vibrating foam roller daily to get all the stress out of your body.
THE MINDSET: Get into a CAN DO mind set. Become a person that rarely says “I can’t do this” or “I’ll do it later”. Use strong, motivating words like “I will do this”, “I am doing it”, “Sure”, “Yes”, “Of course I can”.

These are only 6 of a set of 9 I work from, if you would like the complete set, email and I will send the un-abridged version.

Whether for someone in your team or yourself, Coaching to Success looks to facilitate this growth in confidence, speak to someone who lives as he believes and contact me at neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk or even build that confidence by picking up the phone and calling 07761 187238, where you’ll be assured a friendly and positive greeting.

Nov 05 2013

Eeek! Even less daylight hours to do all those things!

Although daylight doesn’t make a great deal of difference to most of us in the working environment, it’s a great analogy on how to squeeze even more into the precious time that we have. So using that as a comparison, how come we’re finding even less time to get on and do the important things? Even as a mentor in such subject, I have to constantly be aware of the signs myself.

As an avid fan, I’d like to share Stephen Covey tool’s called the ‘Time-Matrix’ which looks at taking control of your time and realising where you’re spending it.

To start, grab an A4 sheet of paper and divide into quarters. Along the top, write ‘URGENT’ in the left and ‘NOT URGENT’ in the right. Along the side, against the uppermost squares, write ‘IMPORTANT, and the lower, write ‘NOT IMPORTANT…

Your quarters will be Top Left (No.1) ‘Urgent/Important’, Top Right (No.2) ‘Not Urgent/Important’, Bottom Left (No.3) ‘Urgent/Not Important’, Bottom Right (No.4) ‘Not Urgent/Not Important’, viola, your matrix.

So what are we to put into these quadrants?

I= MANAGE: These are the un-expected things that land on our laps. The things that we couldn’t or don’t have control over when they arrive. Crisis, Medical emergencies, Pressing problems, Deadline driven projects etc.

II= FOCUS: This is where your time should ideally be spent. Preparation & Planning, Prevention, Exercise, Relationship building etc.

III= AVOID: These are the things that may not affect you directly but may have a bearing on what’s happening in work. The sort of things you really you could keep your nose out of and let the responsible parties take control. Texts, Calls, Interruptions, Some emails etc. and the dreaded FaceBook are also mingled into this area.

IV= AVOID: You’ll be surprised at how long you actually spend in here! Trivia, procrastination, Junk Mail, idle telephone call when things need to be done etc.

Now look at where you ‘honestly’ spend your time. Ideally No.2 is where you will be most productive. Planning ahead so that items don’t suddenly find themselves in box 1!! Look at your own activities during the day or week and see what takes up your time and see where you can plan things in more efficiently. This is the place I desperately try my best to work on yet, I’m human too!

Hopefully that will help to a certain degree but we know how difficult it is to see the wood for the trees, especially when you’re operating at 115%. If that’s the case, then time management is an area that either you or someone in your team could possibly do with gaining some clarity. Coaching to Success has a variety of ways to help with ‘Time Management’ so contact me for a FREE Introductory chat or send me an email at neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk where you’ll be assured a friendly and positive greeting.

Oct 21 2013

7 TIPS TO DEAL WITH CONFRONTATION

How many times have you got caught up in an argument that if just one of you had been less defensive, could have been resolved or at least diffused, if handled better?

Here’s 7 tips on how to control your own demeanour and, in turn, the potential landmine that an argument can be.

Take a deep breath just before the confrontation or during it. This lowers your heartbeat and blood pressure.
Breathe a little slower, again, the amount of adrenaline running through your body also drops.
Take 5 minutes, if you can, quickly rehearse what you are going to say to someone. Make key points of your argument.
Get to know what triggers your anger. Prepare a new response to that trigger. By doing this you are aware of the buttons people can push to elicit a certain response.
Make the person aware of how confrontational they are being. Saying something like ‘why are you shouting at me?’, ‘Why are you being so aggressive’. This turns the energy back on the person and lets them look at themselves for a minute, this might calm them down as people get lost in the moment.
Turn all the attention back on the person you are arguing with. ‘You seem really angry about that!’. This can have the same effect of point 5.
Don’t get sucked into their arguments. The purpose of an argument is to manipulate you into losing one, thereby showing the other person they are superior.

Consider this story…

I drove past someone who lived on our estate and he was walking his dog. He was on the pavement as I drove past. I pulled into the driveway then heard this guy shouting at me. He walked aggressively and I prepared myself for a confrontation as I hadn’t a clue what had happened. The conversation went as follows;

“You soaked my dog”, I looked at his dog and suddenly realised I must have driven through a puddle. Inside, I questioned the absurdity of this man looking for a fight because some water had gone over his dog. I said

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise.”’

“You did soak him, you went through a puddle and soaked him.”

“I said, apologies for soaking your dog I didn’t realise” repeating what I had said before. His demeanour changed.

“Well you did and I’m pissed off!”

“I can see you are, but it was an accident”. As he turner to walk away, he added “

I’m sorry I was so angry, it’s just it happened last night as well with somebody else.”

“It’s okay, I understand. See you later” I replied.

This shows that different things annoy different people, but it’s easy to deal with their behaviour if you point out how they are behaving.

If there are anger issues within your workplace, give Neil a call on 07761 187238 or email info@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to arrange a free, no obligation consultation and discuss what issues are affecting you.

Oct 07 2013

Bust out of the OLD habits… Break into creating new ‘POSITIVE’ ones

A sense of accomplishment and positive forward momentum can be achieved by small constructive actions carried out on a daily or routine basis. These smaller changes, these daily habits, these ‘Success’ practises can form the foundation to achieve major positive changes.

Identify 6 to 8 key areas of your work. Now ‘List’ and ‘Score’ those particular areas of your life where 10 is perfectly satisfied and less satisfied would be 1. Here are some of the possible areas that people identify to work on. You could choose from: Relationships (manager/colleagues/team/subordinates), Influence, Leadership, WIIFM (what’s in it for me – why am I doing it), Financial Reward (salary/bonus/benefits), Status (car/job title/benefits), Work skills (ability to do the job), Management skills (delivering projects/deadlines), Communication skills, Work-Life Balance, Stress, Clarity (of what’s expected/career path/boundaries) to name but a few, what’s yours?, it doesn’t have to be from this list though.

Draw a big circle and section it into as many areas you are looking to work on. Mark from 1 near Wheel the centre, to 10 being the outer rim. Write on the outside the heading of area wishing to work on and mark across each segment (ie from 3 to 3, 7 to 7 etc) according to your score. Once complete, you will have a very disjointed or un-even shape within the bigger circle.

In Coaching, this is known as the ‘Wheel’ and we use this to allow clients to consider what actions that, if done on a regular basis, would make a difference for each of your areas requiring change. The wheel doesn’t need to go to a perfect ten, but, what you’re looking to achieve is an overall balance to make your journey a little more comfortable,

Try to think laterally if you initially get stuck for some ideas. Look at different areas within your life or work. For example, feeling lethargic and need an energy boost? Consider going to the gym ‘X’ times per week… Set a time each morning to handle emails to avoid interrupting your thought process during the day etc. Remember, small changes can bring big rewards.

Consider social & personal activities as well. Book some time out mentally as well as in your diary. How about going to the cinema? Spending thirty minutes a day with your partner and/or your kids? Putting your feet up with a good book for twenty minutes… the list of ‘New’ habits you can create are endless but the benefit can be almost immeasurable!

Coaching to success can draw out these ‘New’ habits so give Neil a call on 07761 187238 or email info@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to arrange a free, no obligation consultation and discuss what benefits this change will bring.

Sep 23 2013

Recognise the inspiration before ‘they’ leave!

Finding ideas, some would say, is the easy part but seeing them through is where it gets tricky!

Who are those ‘hidden’ gems amongst your team(s), whether internal or external? Are you hearing their voices through the other noises of a busy day? Can you spot those individuals, those free thinkers who don’t simply conform to existing processes?

It’s energised individuals with the positive drive. It is these innovators, internal entrepreneurs, that not only have the ideas but the energy to see them through.

So why do these people leave? Up to 70% of successful entrepreneurs, self-employed people, get their ideas whilst in employment but then leave due to the lack of processes that enable them to either pitch their idea or have it heard. Be honest with yourself, do you TRULY welcome new ideas or do you believe what you have established is the best and only way forward?

Here is 5 patterns of successful companies who adopt ‘intrapreneurship’ (inside entrepreneurs following organisational goals)

Freedom and not just Money: Intrapreneurs enjoy the freedom of being able to influence organisational goals. Money is a necessity but is more of a tally or, a reward for how well they are contributing.

Photosynthesis: Intrapreneurs feed the idea and cultivate it before releasing it. They develop it but share it only when they feel it is ready to provide, what in effect will be, the ‘glucose’ to business survival.

Pivoting: The genius within! Intrapreneurs see things the rest of us don’t and aren’t scared to suggest or, when they become their own bosses through entrepreneurialism, turn them into reality. Look at Sir James Dyson, who, in 1993 was ignored by companies such as Hoover and Electrolux for his design of a new vacuum cleaner (now expanded to hand dryers and desk fans) and can now be found in over 50 countries with 3,100+ employees and turnover in excess of £1b in 2011.

Visual conception: Like sponges, intrapreneurs use all forms of visual stimulation from design to mind-mapping and thought-showers (brainstorming to you and I) and will look at all potential parameters without settling on the first idea. Aware that initial emotions may outweigh the logic, they allow time for it to develop symbiotically and to show it’s true benefits.

What’s next?: These people strive to see what’s next. Constantly looking for betterment and positive change. Very clear, highly engaged and always learning new ways so that they are not left watching others make those changes that propel organisations forward.

Maybe it’s time to open your eyes and your ears to those around you and find those lions among your team(s).

Coaching to Success help organisations succeed through change and more often than not, it’s through your own ‘Intrapreneurs’ so contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email info@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to arrange a free, no obligation consultation and discuss what benefits change will bring.