Coaching to Success

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Delegate! Who to? No-one else can do it as well … Can they?

Many years ago, I foolishly believed that only I knew everything and could do the task effectively whereas others who reported to me weren’t up to it or to the same standard. Surprising, the company grew once I started to delegate, trust those around me and act like the director that I’d been employed to be. Does this possibly ring true to you or do you recognise the traits?

Often we feel like we should be seen to be working with massive workloads, however, efficiency is all about insuring the operation runs smoothly. If you don’t delegate tasks that others can do, it builds distrust, feeling of reduced worth and despondency.

Here are 5 simple steps to help you along this path of delegation:

  1. WEAKNESS – It is not a sign of weakness to delegate. Know your people and show trust. Maybe there’s feeling of shame, guilt or wanting your own badge of honour showing what a martyr you are. Be truthful with yourself as to the reason why you don’t delegate, it IS NOT a weakness to delegate but shows signs of trust and responsibility… ok, stick by your thoughts there’s no one responsible enough to hand it to! Been there, seen it, even got the badge and then proved totally wrong.
  2. DUMP THE EGO! – No, you’re not the only person in the whole world that can do that job. Ok, it may not be done to the standard YOU BELIEVE to be correct but we’re all different and with guidance and training, someone else can do specific roles and possibly even have the ability to do it faster or even better than you – there’s a thought!
  3. BE OBJECTIVE NOT PROCEDURAL – Two forms of management, Micro and hands off, both equally incorrect! Delegate the task with the desired outcome you’re looking to achieve. Demonstrate how to do this and be approachable. Indicate that they can do it as they wish but the outcome with the objective being what is at stake. Set SMART goals. Allow sufficient time for them to be innovative in what they are doing or learn their own way.
  4. PATIENCE – … “my backside, I’m gonna kill someone!” They’re not likely to get it right first time without making errors? This is the learning curve. Don’t assume it will be carried out perfectly first time round as if they already have a track record of success, this isn’t their fault it’s yours for assuming too much without giving the FULL guidance and support needed in the first instance.
  5. RECOGNITION – When everything goes well, bestow credit where it’s due. Superiors will see how well you manage your team/staff, your delegate will see their worth in not only your eyes but the firm/company’s too. Notoriety is a reward in its own right. Say Thank You and truly show your gratitude, this feeling of appreciation will certainly do you well when the next task comes along.

Coaching to Success wok with Directors and Managers to help understand how to let tasks go enabling concentration on what they should be doing. If this is an area you feel you or members of your team would benefit from, take that first step by speaking with Neil (07761 187238) or throw him an email at info@coachingtosuccess.co.uk… We’re affiliated to the Growth Accelerator scheme and are here to help.

How to control conversation hogs.

An old proverb quotes “Empty vessels make the most noise”, meaning there’s that vocal one amongst us who always has to be heard but doesn’t really have much to contribute.

Now I’m not actually a great believer in targeting all people who speak out as not having substance. What I feel is that others who also have important contributions are supressed before bringing it forward fearing rebuttal from outspoken individuals.

So the answer shouldn’t be about gagging these individuals, after all, their opinions do count, more so the question should be about how do you make your point when others are determined that the stage is theirs alone?

Here are some methods that will help.

From the individuals perspective

  • Go into neutral… The most vocal people often react to feedback. Refrain from nodding or rolling your eyes. Give NO clue and let them go, I can assure you, without fuel, their point will burn out quickly as there’s no engagement.
  • Continue… When someone butts in, don’t stop. Simply continue as if they were sat there with Gaffa tape across their mouth! They will soon get the point.
  • Boring!!!… Regardless of how inconsiderate and blatantly rude the other person is, if your subject matter is boring, people will switch off. Whether work or social, don’t go straight into finite detail. Give an overview and if the other party wish to know more, tell them but at their invitation.
  • Tell them… Frustrating though it is, we often allow others to run away with the conversation. Once they see an opening, you’ve given them the opportunity. So rather than being rude in return, simply inform them “John, sorry, I hadn’t quite finished what I was saying”

From the group Leader

  • OpenForumIn group meetings, know who these strong characters are. Don’t supress their ideas but allow others to take to the stage first.
    • Start with those who will speak out but normally when addressed.
    • Then the quieter members, often the ‘thinkers’. Having a gem of an idea but don’t offer it for fear of being shouted down. They will likely follow the lead of some but will not speak out following more ‘assertive’ (or aggressive!) members.
    • FINALLY, offer the stage to the outspoken members. Throughout, control the conversation stopping these characters from railroading others!
    • Allow people to finish. Give them the floor up to the point they stop. When someone attempts to cut in, as the leader state “Hang on to that thought, I’ll get to you in a minute”, if they persist, be more forceful “Jane, let Mike finish. we will get to your point momentarily”

All too often, people’s passion takes over so courtesy and politeness go out of the window. Rather than treating this as an unacceptable behaviour or trying to shut someone up … change it!

Coaching to success see this behaviour all too being invited to act as arbitrators. If this is something you feel your organisation could benefit from, contact Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to see what further ways we can help you and/or your business in getting the best from ALL contributors.

Procrastination – Two week remedy programme

I spent two days wondering what to write about, then it dawned on me, I was putting it off. So, with an element of irony, here’s how to avoid that dreaded procrastination.

Procrastination effects our inner peace, our calmness and not always consciously. How often do you feel fidgety and not totally relaxed when you know there are tasks to be done, especially ones you don’t enjoy?

It affects us all in some way, so here are 10 tips to help take back control from procrastination.

  1. Clear your work place – A cluttered desk is a cluttered mind. Piles of paper, post it notes etc. distract and stop you from focusing on the job in hand. Only keep what you’re working on in front of you, file the rest or create to-do trays.
  2. Set Goals – Set realistic goals but break the Big picture down. Set smaller, achievable goals with realistic timelines.
  3. Rewards – I once had a client who bought himself an iPad when he achieved his overall goa. I like to treat myself to a really nice cup of coffee and chill for half hour to enjoy both it and my accomplishment. Doesn’t need to be big but reward yourself. Scale it according to the level of success.
  4. Learn new skills – How will that help? By learning to achieve the next level of competency, such as dancing, rock climbing, photography etc, helps you look to the next level of aspiration. I started karate some 30yrs ago and this helped me through my whole career (not necessarily the way that you may be thinking!)
  5. Negative inner voices – When self-doubt creeps in, put it in its place. Start listing the ‘positive’ reasons that things WILL work and listen to this voice instead.
  6. Playing the victim – Stop glorifying how you’re the victim of circumstances. Stand tall and leave what’s happened behind. Be proud of what you can accomplish and when your inner ‘victim’ raises its head, tell it who’s boss.
  7. Prioritise – Evaluate and if it’s important enough for you to do, you’ll find a way. If we don’t care, we’ll keep putting it off. Go through your tasks and prioritise them, starting with the most important.
  8. Delegate – Others can actually do some of those tasks better than you! Let the reins go and give someone else the chance, who knows, they could very well enjoy those tasks that you don’t.
  9. Accountability companion – Chose a person, a supervisor, a junior, a spouse or friend. Tell them you’ve committed to a task with a specific time-frame and ask them to hold you accountable. Human nature compels us to act if we know others are watching!
  10. New Habits – take all of the aforementioned and set about creating some new habits on how you will overcome procrastination. Definition of habit: “Settled tendency or practice”. Be positive, be proactive and be aware.

Taking on one step each day (see 3) you should master the skills of overcoming procrastination is just 2 weeks. If you get stuck with any aspects along the way, contact Neil via phone on 07761 187238 or email neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to beat the beast that is procrastination. Good luck

Mood Swings!!! Could be stress… mine was

A few months ago, friends became aware of my changing mood swings and this got me wondering, was I was suffering depression? My heart goes out to those who do as I am aware how lonely a place that can be for you but something niggled me that this wasn’t it.

Having had a chat with my coach to assess my situation concerning work and what was happening around me, Stress appeared to be the main culprit. How stupid was I that I didn’t see it, after all, I see it in others and help them but I couldn’t see it in myself. Stress is different for everyone but here are a few signals to look out for and how to deal with them.

Some common signals: Social withdrawal/isolation. Excessive sleeping or insomnia. Feelings of being overwhelmed. Difficulty in concentrating. Heartburn, stomach pain, or nausea. Frequent headaches. And the one that got me… Irritability and angry episodes.

Recognise any of these traits in yourself or others? Don’t be too judgemental, stress could well be the cause.

As situations occur, we make unconscious conclusions pertaining to ‘fight’ or ‘flight’. We assess if it threatens our values, reputation, how it affects our time or even social standing. We look inwards as to how we can handle them and whether we have the means to deal them. Such as knowledge, time, emotional proficiencies!

Control levels then step in which determine how stressed we become regarding how well we can face the threat. This leads to how we work and deal with other people.

So how do we deal with it? Awareness is the first thing and then what to do with that awareness? Here are three approaches that can help according to your way of thinking.

EMOTION ORIENTATED

Consider the way you perceive the situation. In coaching we say that you have control over how things make you feel and this is true… but it does take practice to look at things objectively and when stress is building, it can seem an impossible task. Look to explore:

  • Thought awareness – looking within and becoming aware of how situations make you feel
  • Positive mind-set – Create affirmations and seek the positives.

ACTION ORIENTATED

Take one situation, take action to change it!

  • People –Take control and learn how to say ‘No’ when consistently being called upon to do things. Know what your boundaries or limitations are. Develop an assertive (not aggressive) disposition.
  • Time Management –How do you manage what you do in the time you have! A major cause for stress. Create ‘Scheduled’ to-do lists. Turn off email notification warnings. Avoid multitasking.
  • Environment – Cluttered work space, climate conditions, Uncomfortable working conditions, Poor lighting, and even noise pollution. Become aware of these and change what you can.

ACCEPTANCE ORIENTATION

Unlike the other two, this area concentrates on building your own resilience where you are powerless to change the situation. See what may apply to you.

  • Down Time – Get away from it all as this helps you break away from the situation to return with a fresh outlook. Get some exercise and enough sleep.
  • Change management – we are creatures of habit and don’t always enjoy change. Learn how to accept or cope with change.
  • Networks – We know of business networks but consider friends and family as a ‘support’ network. Look at other professions such as consultants as well as coaches to help you see the wood in that forest!
  • Physical relaxation – We use an audio tool for self-meditation to relax the mind and body. There are techniques such as PMR (Progressive Muscle Relaxation) and even I’m about to take up Yoga!

This is just by means of an over-view. Each component is a topic in its own right and this article is really about helping you obtain some clarity as to what further avenues to explore.

Coaching to Success have helped many people to understand what is causing them stress, then create a programme to get over the obstacle, so we invite you to contact our author, Neil on 07761 187238 or email neil.nutburn@coachingtosuccess.co.uk to set up a free initial conversation to discuss areas on how to reduce stress for you or those close to you.

Six hats to help you make that decision!

I would love to take credit for this but, alas, this is the work of Edward de Bono in his book ‘6 Thinking Hats’. What I have done here is illustrate the basis behind what he writes and will give you my thoughts as to how this style of thought process is great for helping make those decisions.

Often we think from a logical or rational thought process but so many other factors need to be considered and this tool brings them to the fore.

Now I’m a fan of wearing hats and have many different styles and colours. I’m not going to grab them all to carry out this exercise, besides which, the only white one I can think of is my wife’s garden one with a floral ribbon … not quite my style. So, let us look at this metaphorically.

  • White Hat: (Data)
    This is all about looking at the information available to you, what logical things can you recall from past trends? Make deductions from these and what information do you require to complete your knowledge base? Assess, analyse and learn.
  • Red Hat: (Intuition)
    Time to use your gut feelings with a good dose of non-logical emotion. How will your decision ‘emotionally’ affect others? How will they asses your reasoning for taking such action?
  • Black Hat: (Defensive)
    Well, come on, it’s obvious why it isn’t going to work! And this is the voice in our head that normally wins over and we stop. However, this is a great way to look at potential weak points. Develop a plan to overcome them, ignore them for what they are or simply fix them.
  • Yellow Hat: (Optimism)
    Positive thought process is the energy behind any decision. The benefit finder that sees the value in what you’re planning. It’s bright, like sunshine, helps lift you when other things may not quite be going as expected.
  • Green Hat: (Creativity)
    Imagine sticking this one on your bonce to develop creative solutions to a tricky situation. A carefree way of open-minded thinking, void of criticism. Brain dump all yours and other people’s ideas and sift through even the wackiest ones.
  • Blue Hat: (Process)
    Take control of the situation. If things are starting to look glum, order the Yellow hat brigade and their ideas to come forward, if contingency is the name of the game, grab the black hat etc. Blue Hat thinking is the over-view process and insures the idea remains on track.

All too often, we start an idea with ‘Yellow Hat’ optimism yet allow ‘Black’ gloom squash it rather than taking ‘Blue’ approach of listening to what both have to say then introducing White, Red and Green to the discussion!

Coaching to success use this and another similar tool to really explore decision outcomes and will dig much deeper into you or your teams pyche and deliver some amazing thoughts to give that edge over competition or just the betterment of your organisation.

So stick on your ‘Blue’ hat and make contact with Neil either by email (neil@coachingtosuccess.co.uk) or call (m: 07761 187238) to set up a discussion to discuss your fashion accessories of hats.